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    Aug 2, 2017

    24 Relatable Tweets That Know You Better Than You Know Yourself

    You're never truly alone while there are funny strangers on Twitter.

    1.

    RUNNER: this is called "carbo-loading. we eat lots of heavy food ME: that's great. love it RUNNER: then we go for a nice long run ME: no

    2.

    CHANGING YOUR DUVET COVER -remember to use your energy sparingly. It's a marathon, not a sprint -make sure you stay hydrated -don't panic

    3.

    " work until your bank account looks like a phone number "

    4.

    5.

    "you're so quiet" actually i never shut the fuck up around people i am comfortable with but you are not one of those people

    6.

    i love the term “partners” are we dating? are we robbing a bank? do we run a legal firm? Who knows man

    7.

    when someone is making fun of one of ur insecurities but it's "just a joke"

    8.

    hate when people ask if ur on drugs/drunk when ur just having fun like no some of us have the natural personality of a crackhead sorry

    9.

    A free t-shirt can motivate me to do basically anything

    10.

    When you get carried away pulling off that little piece of skin off your finger

    11.

    whenever someone unfollows me I imagine them reading one of my tweets and thinking "ya this is the last straw"

    12.

    it's this easy becoming friends with me fr

    13.

    CO-WORKER: give me $3 to eat this old grape? ME: sure WIKIPEDIA: give me $3 to continue to provide you essential knowledge? ME: get fucked

    14.

    If I could have dinner with anybody living or dead I'd pick the dead guy. Then I'd order two dinners and eat both. Fuck that guy. He's dead

    15.

    16.

    It's OK if you're older and hate millennials that's fine but next time you can't figure out how to print a word doc DONT ASK ME CAROL

    17.

    I need more friends who understand that I still want to be invited but I'm not going

    18.

    [while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?

    19.

    20.

    I NEED TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE SAID I COULD SAVE MONEY BRINGIN LUNCH TO WORK ITS 9:43 I ATE THE LUNCH NOW I HAVE TO BU… https://t.co/yxJNny90Mg

    21.

    I wonder what it's like to be able to put your hair in a low ponytail and not look like a founding father

    22.

    STUNTMAN ON TV: don't try this at home ME [sitting on couch eating out of a 5 lb. bag of m&ms]: ok

    23.

    24.

    OH SO IM JUST SUPPOSED TO ENJOY GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME INSTEAD OF LIVING IN FEAR THAT THEYLL TURN TO DUST IN MY HANDS

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