1.
OOH BABY DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S WORTH
2.
Wow. How is my son going to pull off this most coveted of theatrical roles
3.
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Worst. Perfume. Name. Ever.
5.
Well, that's quite the, er, offer, Mail on Sunday
6.
Just got to tennis. Boyfriend has taken my racket out and put a frying pan in instead. I'm not even joking.
7.
"Bro you on EE?"
8.
Funny that @sainsburys xmas advert is all about being at home wi family at xmas, yet they've got me down to work xmas eve and boxing day
9.
How do I tell them?? #Brexit
10.
Found the worlds saddest photo, guys.
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U ok Hun?
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Brexit Britain, also known as
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Alright stop, refrigerate and listen
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2017 goals
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Yoda is selling houses in Taunton.
16.
Obama: you told him Nigel Farage was British Foreign Secretary didn't you? Biden: Obama: Joe
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When you have Bake Off at 8pm but Stone Roses at 10pm
18.
Honestly thought someone was just super excited about the drinks machine
19.
- how was ur first day at school son? - honestly? not great.
20.
What the fuck am I at uni with?😂😂
21.
Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw
22.
It's not a baby then is it
23.
Bought my 4 year old this hat from H&M kids despite the fact he can't even cope with skunk yet.
24.
Why does this cat look like he just hit the cleanest freekick of the season 😂
25.
Roses are red Violets are blue
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Theresa May shocks audiences by pulling German Chancellor Angela Merkel out of a giant top hat
27.
my dad has just taken dad jokes to a whole new level
28.
Canny believe Gregors away in a huff cause we were slagging him for dressing like a train seat hahahahah
29.
If video games have taught me anything it's that this guy is selling rare items that I'll need later in my quest.
30.
Kim Jong Un looks like a sassy NHS nurse
31.
Rare photo of the UK leaving the EU.
32.
Can I have a sweet pea please Bob?
33.
FaceTiming my oven so I can see when my garlic bread is done.
34.
Have we not suffered enough
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My friend @liam_ohare has found a piece of breaded ham that looks exactly like Donald Trump.
36.
"We can't call it Kentucky Fried Chicken we'll get sued, pick another state" "OK which one" "Any, it doesn't matter"
37.
Even tho I pretend that I moved on, you'll always be my baby...
38.
Who needs 10,000 characters when Twitter produces this gold in 140?
39.
Convince people you have American teeth, by putting a train ticket in your mouth
40.
I will never stop laughing at this kid
41.
If you can hear us Margaret, move a glass.
42.
To anyone attending the Bohemian Rhapsody rehearsal this afternoon, we're up in the treehouse...
43.
Worst. Tinder bio. Ever.
44.
I'm fine, I'm fine... you just got me right in the nads... ... Jesus Christ...
45.
Feel sorry for all you idiots still stuck doing "Netflix and chill".
46.
This photo of Phil Collins looks like its from a local paper, where he's complained to council about people leaving… https://t.co/cLhfgW9juA
47.
Took 93yr old mum and her friend to vote. #EUref
48.
ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon
49.
when the customer ur dealing with asks to speak to the manager n the manager says the same thing u did
50.
The Large White Guy Collider has successfully split a Chet into 7 smaller sub-Chets, the building blocks of White.
51.
you ever been involved in a real life crucifixion before toby?
52.
Harry Potter and the
53.
Every time I see this poster I think it's an advert for Paul Mcartney's new album
54.
Take back control. No you take it back. No you fucking take it. You touched it last.
55.
leave voters realising they've absolutely shafted us all but still trying to pretend they're pleased wae the result
56.
When your mum tells you to hing the washing oot and you chuck the closest pair eh shoes oan
57.
We have to stop saying Brexit, because Stan thinks we are saying biscuits.
58.
I was laughing too much when I got this home from the record shop to be angry. Worth every penny.
59.
#WorldBookDay Forgot they had to be in costume, so they're going to school as pages 89 & 165 of the Argos catalogue
60.
Manic Street Preachers tried to warn us, but we didn't listen...
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I guess this means we can no longer use that phrase
62.
When you voted to leave the EU but you gunna die soon so it's not your problem
63.
No Scottish shortbread for you little man!
64.
I believe Slash and Axl actually came to blows over this first draft.
65.
Desperately trying to trick myself into doing some work
66.
Imagine the trouble she has trying to introduce herself in France.
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Theresa May looking like she's just been booked for diving
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I want a sitcom about these neighbours
69.
He's dead Susan
70.
I see you Madeley, with Shrek and that lass, Shrek and that lass, Shrek and that lass, I see you Madeley…
71.
his palms are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy there's
72.
this is what you've done. i hope you feel bad.
73.
Needless to say, I don't think it's good news.
74.
When your pirate friend wants to join in...
75.
When you've got a ton of work to do by Derek, and it's already quarter to Linda:
76.
The official Coronation Street colouring book is WILD
77.
Remember when Dennis Waterman ruled England from 1553-1558?
78.
When you're in the back of the cab and the driver starts talking about immigrants
79.
William: "Let's do the scene where Luke finds out who his real dad is" Harry: "Can we not?" W: "Oh. Yeah. Sorry."
80.
Fella at Lidl got heavy confidence in that rose
81.
you know that's bullshit Martine
82.
The home fans behind the goal in the South Stand are chanting "You're just a sh*t Tesco sandwich" at Dagenham keeper Elliot Justham.
83.
Chocolate currency stronger than real currency
84.
They've made all the Roses the same shape. And I'm colourblind. Worst year ever.
85.
Am fucking embarrassed to call this thing my pal
86.
BRITAIN: Brexit is the stupidest, most self-destructive act a country could undertake. USA: Hold my beer.
87.
he was a sk8er boy she said see you l8er boy
88.
Most people drunk text their ex or someone they fancy.... Not me.... What the actual fuck was going through my drun… https://t.co/t1HqWaBHux
89.
Someone brought me these to cheer me up but I don't even fucking like voles
90.
My 127 year old baby says thank you but please let her die now
91.
if this gyal competing in the olympics can wear earrings why the fuck did I have to cover mine in plasters for PE
92.
What a wanker I'd lob a nugget at him
93.
Coming soon to Thorpe Park: the value of the pound
94.
Pleasure to meet you. The name's...
95.
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy's card? Me (in bed): Yes. 3yo: Will he love it? Me: Yes.
96.
Finally an opinion i want to hear
97.
This woman on my train looked thrilled to be taking this call.
98.
is this how you trigger article 50
99.
How can my mum go to nandos & fill up a whole water bottle of hot sauce 😭💔
100.
wow huge congrats to toilet