1. Peanut Butter
The average European eats less than 1 tablespoon of peanut butter a year. Because apparently they're insane. PB is extremely difficult to find in Europe, and when you finally do, the store will probably have neither your preferred brand nor both crunchy and smooth options. Heartbreaking.
Can we talk about how France doesn't have peanut butter? Are you even real France? How do you enjoy your j without the pb? Need answers.
2. Fried Chicken
Did you just say the words "fish and chips" to me?
3. Hot Sauce
OMG. Almost out of green @TABASCO. #expatproblems
This is an issue of brand variety and availability. Any hot sauce lover knows that not just any old spicy substance will do.
4. Avocado
5. Many Diet Sodas
6. Classic American Breakfast
It's Pancake Day, not Crepe Day. Don't settle for less.
7. Good BBQ
8. Gloriously Huge Fruit
9. American Candy Brands
Things Europe doesn't have: Reece's pieces, Hershey's cookies and cream, and hot Cheetos #crying
10. Enormous Delicious Salads
You might think that everywhere in Europe would have this because it is still civilization, but you would be totally wrong. Restaurants with respectably large salad options are few and far between in Spain and France in particular. It's not unheard of for ex-pats to burst into tears of joy upon their first return to a Whole Foods salad bar, Chop't, or any restaurant in California.
11. Thanksgiving Dinner
#ExpatThanksgiving means explaining to non-American dining companions that yes, really, everyone eats sweet potatoes topped w marshmallows
12. Bagels and Cream Cheese
13. Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Many Other American Cereal Brands That Are Nearly Impossible to Find on the Continent of Europe
14. Large Cups of Coffee
15. Ice Cubes
Putting as many ice cubes as possible in my drinks before I go to Europe because apparently THEY DON'T HAVE ANY
Tepid Coke, exactly what I always wanted.
16. Salad Dressing
"Pourable Sunshine" psh yeah right
17. Tex-Mex
Obviously the Chipotles in London, Frankfurt, and Paris can't fully satisfy this craving.
You try to replace the foods you love with their foreign equivalents, but that ends in frustration.
You long for them day in and day out.
Until finally, you return...
...and it's just like you dreamed it.
The way I talk about America you might think it was made of only food. #expatproblems