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3 Things The Team USA World Cup Jerseys Look Like

... Rich white guys rejoice, these jerseys look like your entire summer wardrobe.

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The aforementioned Jersey / Via USA Today

Nike went safe on these. They aren't going to blow you away, but they also don't suck. A very bland jersey for a very colorful nation. Lets go over what they look like and realize where Nike dropped the ball

1. Prince Harry Playing Polo

Really Nike? We didn't fight for independence so you could make us look like we're about to go Quail hunting with Prince Harry and Benedict Cumberbatch. Less God save the Queen and more God Bless America, please.

2. Country Club Tennis Uniforms / Via Audubon Country Club

I wonder if Team USA is going to be able to field a full 11 players if the games coincide with the annual Club Championship. Winning a tournament against the best in the world where you are a massive underdog, or the BEST parking spot for a FULL YEAR plus FREE luncheon? Sorry Team USA, Landon Donovan's not in the business of passing up a free lunch.

3. Your Dad / Via

No word yet on how the cellphone belt clip is going to slow the players down but Team USA is cautiously optimistic that if they do have to take a call during the game the players have trained long enough to realize that YOU DON'T NEED TO YELL INTO THE DAMN PHONE, DAD.

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