44 Fairly Reasonable Questions Even A Potter Maniac Might Struggle To Answer

Do these kids not still need to learn Math and stuff? Well, I mean, it’s sort of like, uh, you see…

You opt for a Potter movie marathon with a total Muggle who hasn’t read the books, so they ask a few questions along the way. And like, they’re kinda talking sense.

1. “They kept this kid in a cupboard for ten years? Why isn’t he just like ‘f*ck this’ and call Social Services or whatever?”

Well, I mean…

2. “Whoa, that guy’s half giant? His small human dad impregnated his GIANT mother?”

They probably just, like, uh…

3. “If the only train to school goes from London to Scotland, what happens if you live in like, Liverpool?”

To be honest, I…

4. “If you’re only allowed an owl, a cat or a toad, why’s this guy got a rat?”

I’m sure there’s probably a good, like, um…

5. “How is his prescription the same the whole way through? Wait, this kid does magic. Why does he even need glasses?”

Maybe he, uh, well…

6. “Can’t he just pick it up?”

I guess he could, but, like, you see…

7. “If the teachers set up all those obstacles, why don’t they just ask the teachers to do it?”

Well the thing is that, uhhh…

8. “So they broke like every school rule but got given a billion house points?”

Yeah you could look it at like that, but, well…

9. “Why are they so keen to get to school? If you missed your train wouldn’t you just be like ‘hey, cool’?”

I mean I guess, maybe it’s just that…

10. “It’s kinda like Talking Angela, right?”

Well, sort of…

11. “There’s been an enormous monster snake thing in the school walls for half a century and the headmaster’s like ‘hey, hakuna matata’?”

Yeah, I’m sure he was just sort of, mmm…

12. “LOL that he’s just been sitting around working that out. Don’t you think that woulda taken ages to work out?”

I mean he’s like a really great wizard and stuff, so like, I uh…

13. “So can we clarify… Expelliarmus is like a big super attack blast-off-your-feet spell?”

Yeah, exactly!

14. “Or more of a ‘hehehe got your stick’ spell?”

Oh wait, yeah… I, uh…

15. “They flipped out about the car, but how come nobody saw his aunt floating between Surrey and Sheffield?”

They were probably just, um, maybe, it, uh…

16. “How do those photos work? How long does the picture go on for? Is it like a live stream, or…?”

It’s probably on a loop, or, well, I’m not really…

17. “What happened to that guy?”

Maybe, like, pea soup?

18. “Has that guy always been Irish?”

Well no they got this new guy and, yeah, he’s, kinda Irish…

19. “Swear his hut thing was different before?”

I mean I kinda see what you’re saying here but…

20. “Where’d that massive bridge come from?”

Maybe we just didn’t look properly before, or…

21. “They had the Find Friends map thing the whole time and never thought to ask who that random guy was?”

To be honest it’s not like, well, yeah I kinda see what you…

22. “So they just keep that to save everyone else for the rest of the series?”

Well yeah but the bad guys might be like, expecting that, possibly probably maybe…

23. “He okay?”

I guess they COULD have touched it up a bit more…

24. “Was he always totally insane?”

I dunno really, I mean, like…

25. “What’s wrong with her eyebrows?”

Yeah she does that, it’s like, she’s just a little… Ah man…

26. “Kinda cut the budget on SFX for this one, huh?”

I mean it’s not ideal but…

27. “So he looks a little different, don’t you think?”

I’m not totally sure that, oh yeah, uh, hmm…

28. “So it’s like a regular maze, but hazy?”

It was like 10 levels harder in the book but, well, it’s kinda windy too, that’d be tough maybe…

29. “Why is he not just like ‘Nah sorry don’t fancy slicing my hand open’? Like, what is he proving?”

He’s making a point that, uh, he likes getting, I mean…

30. “So she stays and then what? She just gets a job at a bar or something?”

I mean yeah, or like, maybe like, Zonko’s?

31. “And would nobody freak out at a bunch of kids flying on… wait, nothing?”

A car IS weird though…

32. “So he got killed by a translucent curtain?”

To be honest it was more of a veil. So he, yeah, he got killed by a translucent veil…

33. “Kinda boring this one, isn’t it?”

It’s not that it’s boring, it’s more that it’s just, oh…

34. “He probably coulda just pushed him off that and it would’ve done the job, no?”

Yeah, he probably, wait what?

35. “They tried to sneak him out discreetly by making SEVEN of him?”

It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense at first, but the thing is, that, well…

36. “Wasn’t that guy chubby and white before?”

Yeah, the other guy got caught with weed and it was all like, oh man I don’t really…

37. “When did they learn to do that?”

I can’t really put my finger on… They should have had a test really, but…

38. “Why’s she grinding with the glasses guy if she likes the ginger guy?”

No this scene is just, like, cute and, oh I don’t even…

39. “And wouldn’t someone see a flying dragon?”

I mean not if you don’t look up…

40. “Are they like making out or…?”

Of course they’re not making out, it’s just, well, wait, are they..?

41. “So he died of like, eczema?”

Nah it just represents, like, all the stuff…

42. “Uh…?”

Okay so the thing here is…

43. “What?”

It’s sort of like, well, it’s kinda…

44. “Just like, what?”

No. I just don’t know.

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