Originally, I wrote this for my school's literary fair (I didn't win, unfortunately), but after getting strong reactions from my friends and some people on Omegle I found with the shared interest "pizza," I decided to take this to the big leagues, the internet.
Why Pineapple Doesn’t Belong on Pizza
Who dares to disgrace the sanctity of pizza with the addition of fruit? In the early nineteenth century, in Naples, Italy, modern pizza was born. Evolved from similar dishes in ancient Greece and Rome, modern pizza was revolutionary. When Italian immigrants came to the United States, they brought with them pizza. Pizzerias began to sprout up, replicating the crusty, flatbread-like food, popularizing it. What had once been a food for the poorer Neapolitans was now spreading like wildfire. The future of pizza seemed bright, but it would soon all come crashing down.
Although pizza is quite delicious, one man decided to single-handedly mock the delicacy. In 1962, Sam Panopoulos invented a repulsive way of preparing pizza: topping it with pineapple and ham. Panopoulos dubbed his horrific creation "Hawaiian Pizza." The ham isn't the issue with this atrocity - the pineapple is. While pineapple is wonderful on its own, it doesn't belong on pizza.
Pizza is enjoyed by a vast majority of people. The endless possibilities of toppings make it appeal to many. Pepperoni, sausage, vegetables, and mushrooms are just a small selection of the plethora of pizza toppings that exist. Common variations are "Meat Lover's," "Margherita," or "Veggie Lover's." Has anybody ever seen "Fruit Lover's Pizza" on a menu? No, because it might as well say "Pizza Hater's Pizza." Pineapple is the only fruit that is some how considered a pizza topping. Fruit is a fantastic source of nutrients, but it doesn't belong with cheese and tomato sauce. Nobody would dare to order a strawberry pizza. Why pineapple? The answer is simply a confused Greek chef in Canada working at a restaurant serving both Italian and Asian cuisine. Sam Panopoulos was not exactly what you would call a pizza expert.
Panopoulos was born in Greece, which as we previously discussed was the home of pizza's early ancestor. Greek flatbread was a simple bread with oil, herbs, and cheese. Pineapple was never available as a topping because it originated in South America. Panopoulos clearly wasn't digging into his Greek roots to invent this abomination. What exactly made this man believe that he had the right to reinvent pizza?
When asked, Panopoulos said there was a steep learning curve at first. He went on to say, "We'd never seen a pizza. We didn't know what we were doing." Who let this man near a pizza? Why would anybody be even microscopically inclined to eat a pizza made by a severely inexperienced chef? He began to experiment with toppings, eventually conceiving pineapple pizza. Regarding his disappointment to the Neapolitans, Panopoulos said, "I said 'Let's put some pineapple on it, and all of a sudden we're doing big business." Let's just remember that this "big business" was in Canada, where pizza was still a novelty.
Panopoulos claims that his pizza was "an invention by accident." And a terrible, terrible accident it was. His creation was elevated in popularity due to the "tiki trend". The "tiki trend" popularized all things Polynesian. Panopoulos's pizza only gained popularity because the "tiki trend" was still in full swing. It was simply a fluke.
Much of the world still embraces "Hawaiian Pizza", regardless of the fact that it was invented by a clueless chef in Canada, where there was very little knowledge of the food. Popularized by a fluke, it became a staple on pizza menus everywhere. But is pineapple on pizza really necessary? No, no it's not.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And yes, I fact checked.
Share This Article
