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Kale Is Destroying America

The biggest threat facing America is not terrorism or obesity or even the Kardashians. It's kale.

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This is America.

Land of the free, home of the brave, sea to shining sea, etc.

This is kale.

It is destroying America.
Via marycrimmins.com

It is destroying America.

Take a good look at it...

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It's easily confused for more American types of greens...
Via flickr.com

It's easily confused for more American types of greens...

Be aware that kale may lurk in every salad!
Via tumblr.com

Be aware that kale may lurk in every salad!

Don't get it twisted - kale ain't your friend.
Via tumblr.com

Don't get it twisted - kale ain't your friend.

Terrible people grow, eat and use kale for nefarious purposes.

Kardashians loves kale. #BOOYOUWHORE
Via usmagazine.com

Kardashians loves kale. #BOOYOUWHORE

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Hitler, a well known vegetarian, loved kale. Sieg Kale!
Via oglobo.globo.com

Hitler, a well known vegetarian, loved kale. Sieg Kale!

Drinks a kale smoothie after the gym. #obvs
Via combatblog.net

Drinks a kale smoothie after the gym. #obvs

Kale makes people sad.

Kale makes Sad Keanu even sadder.
Via cdn.theatlantic.com

Kale makes Sad Keanu even sadder.

Via giphy.com

With great power comes great responsibility to not eat kale.

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Via reactiongifs.com

Our insistence upon kale in EVERYTHING makes Meg weep for our collective fate.

Starships may have been meant to fly, but your kale makes Nicki cry.

Via tumblr.com

America or kale and you chose kale. All Demi Lovato can do is shed tears.

Via tumblr.com

The kale and orange juice cleanse you are subjecting us to cause Dawson to feel shame and remorse.

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We can be free of kale, but it will take all of us!

Like this fluffy bunny eating kale so humans don't have to.

Via images4.fanpop.com

We can deploy an army of Edwards to valiantly help our cause.

Dinosaurs can lend an appetite.

Via gifrific.com

This adorable koala will gladly switch to kale.

We Can Win!!!

Fight so that our children can live free of the tyranny of kale. Fight so that we all might not be subject to seasalt dusted organic kale chips dipped in wasabi. Fight because it's the right thing to do.

Fight so that our children can live free of the tyranny of kale.

Fight so that we all might not be subject to seasalt dusted organic kale chips dipped in wasabi.

Fight because it's the right thing to do.

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