Kale Is Destroying America

The biggest threat facing America is not terrorism or obesity or even the Kardashians. It’s kale.

2. Land of the free, home of the brave, sea to shining sea, etc.

3. This is kale.

It is destroying America.

4. Take a good look at it…

5. .

It’s easily confused for more American types of greens…

Be aware that kale may lurk in every salad!

Don’t get it twisted - kale ain’t your friend.

8. Terrible people grow, eat and use kale for nefarious purposes.

Kardashians loves kale. #BOOYOUWHORE

Hitler, a well known vegetarian, loved kale. Sieg Kale!

Drinks a kale smoothie after the gym. #obvs

11. Kale makes people sad.

Kale makes Sad Keanu even sadder.

With great power comes great responsibility to not eat kale.

Our insistence upon kale in EVERYTHING makes Meg weep for our collective fate.

Starships may have been meant to fly, but your kale makes Nicki cry.

America or kale and you chose kale. All Demi Lovato can do is shed tears.

The kale and orange juice cleanse you are subjecting us to cause Dawson to feel shame and remorse.

17. We can be free of kale, but it will take all of us!

Like this fluffy bunny eating kale so humans don’t have to.

We can deploy an army of Edwards to valiantly help our cause.

Dinosaurs can lend an appetite.

This adorable koala will gladly switch to kale.

21. We Can Win!!!

Fight so that our children can live free of the tyranny of kale.

Fight so that we all might not be subject to seasalt dusted organic kale chips dipped in wasabi.

Fight because it’s the right thing to do.

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