1. This chair that is obviously not really a chair in hindsight.
2. This poor girl who will never say anything "sucks" ever again.
3. This tricksy benchwarmer who enjoys sports beverages and crushing young dreams.
4. This unfortunate fellow who will never use a public restroom ever again ever.
5. This father who's really aiming high for that World's Best Dad mug.
6. This pancaked pedestrian who's never going to trust the toy aisle again.
7. This cat who TOTALLY HAD THIS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GOSH.
8. And this short-tempered feline who, let's face it, was looking for a fight anyway.
9. This sunbather who was eaten alive by seagulls, RIP.
10. This tiny monkey who we didn't even invite to brunch but helped himself anyway.
11. This fellow who's really regretting finding his roommates on Craigslist right about now.
12. This joker who wants to make sure you have a very unhappy birthday.
13. Or this would-be apologist who probably isn't even really sorry.
14. This smug prankster who thinks you need to get over your arachnophobia.
15. And this precocious prankee who's gonna start sleeping with one eye open.
And an ice pack or two. Yeeowch.