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What It's Like To Revisit 1987’s “Claymation Christmas Celebration" While Drunk

So it being December and all I, not having anything better to do than get drunk off old beer and watch '80s cartoon specials, decided to take an inebriated stroll down Memory Lane.

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Featuring the California Raisins! I remember that being a thing back then. Borderline racist singing raisins. Crazy how popular they were during the late 80’s. I never understood why they would support a company that promoted the wholesale slaughter of their brethren. #SelfHatingSentientDriedGrapes

So we open in London's Christmas Square, apparently, in what can only be assumed to be a post apocalyptic world where man has either fallen or interbred with other species to create a new race of highly evolved animals, intent on continuing ancient religious rituals.

Also, Dinosaurs. Why Dinosaurs? Did John Hammond get curious on those lonely Isla Nublar nights? Also also, how these highly evolved talking animals built and maintained the social infrastructure without opposable thumbs is just one of the many questions left unansw….Wait, what’s that?


This was always my favorite segment and yet it always scared the crap out of me. Why did the camels have sneakers and cleft lips? Why were they so rude with their sassy interruptions??


So these elves obviously have powerful magic at their disposal, and yet still feel the need to put the most decrepit looking elf on bicycle power duty. Maybe it’s his punishment for wanting to unionize.

Alright, I stand corrected, THIS is the trippiest segment. Never take peyote before going to church. Once that sitar kicks in, shit gets real. It’s funny they’re talking about joy, because this looks like souls being tormented for eternity.

You telling me that the famous singing and dancing sensation that are "The California Raisins" have to take public transportation? Reaganomics was especially tough for Motown-singing anthropomorphic dried fruit.

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