So the World Cup is set to take over EVERYTHING for the next month or so.
Which is great if you love football but sucks big time if you don't. Welcome to your new life:
1. Your favourite pub will become a no-go area.
2. Your TV viewing is over.
3. The people who used to share your lack of interest in football will turn on you and become smug “fans”.
4. You will continually ask: “Is it over yet?” and constantly be disappointed.
5. This rather angry man will dominate every conversation you hear.
6. This will get very boring and quite depressing.
7. Lego reconstructions will really start to fuck you off.
8. The words "extra time" will fill you with dread.
9. However, penalties will be pretty fun.
10. And the fights seem quite amusing.
11. You will learn to hate Cristiano Ronaldo.
12. You will continue to hate Pitbull.
13. And everyone who pretends they've heard of some Iranian left back who trended on Twitter for like two minutes.
14. You'll get angry the superior sporting events won't receive the appropriate attention.
15. You'll also get fed up with every conversation in the office starting with: "Did you see...?"
16. And constantly having to listen to people debate who will play who in the next round.
17. You will see too many tweets by this man.
18. Your social life will effectively be over as you have no idea what anyone is talking about most of the time.
19. Although, there's no one to talk to anyway as they're all checking their phones for the latest scores.
20. Your favourite celebrities will try and get involved. And ruin everything.
21. You'll get seriously pissed off with how tired everyone is because they've been up all night watching matches they don't even care about.
22. You'll be utterly depressed by how warm Brazil looks.
23. And the terrible (and potentially offensive) memorabilia.
Stupid bloody football.
