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19 Honest Confessions From An Ann Summers Worker

No, you can't "try before you buy".

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1. Some people literally try to return vibrators they have broken.

20th Century Fox

Hand sanitiser and disposable gloves are a godsend.

2. And others return used vibrators claiming that they've never even opened the box.

Paramount Pictures

If it's faulty, it's our fault. But if not, shame on you.

3. We shouldn't have to tell you that you can't go into the fitting room together.

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You aren't allowed to in any other shop, so why do you think it's acceptable to do it here?

4. And asking us whether you can try the toys before you buy them is not a new joke.

It wasn't funny the first time we heard it, and it's not funny now. Also, we don't need that mental image.
Richard Duggan / BuzzFeed

It wasn't funny the first time we heard it, and it's not funny now. Also, we don't need that mental image.

5. Working on greet is the most soul-destroying part of the job.

Paramount Pictures

You hate being greeted. We hate greeting you. It goes against everything British, but we have no choice. Please take pity on us.

6. And we spend the whole year dreading sale season.

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We spend hours rearranging the shop and putting stickers on knickers. And then when the sale starts, we just wade through the chaos left behind by bargain hunters.

7. When 50 Shades of Grey came out, we got so much busier.

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First the book, and then the film. Both releases kept us super busy on the shop floor.

8. We don't know the answers to all your intimate questions about sex.

Dunlop Entertainment

We know lots of answers. But not all the answers.

9. We hate directing you to other retailers when we don't have what you're looking for.

Boux Avenue and La Senza are our natural enemies. But sometimes we have to admit we haven't got the one thing you're looking for.
Viki Bodnar / Via Facebook: viki.bodnar

Boux Avenue and La Senza are our natural enemies. But sometimes we have to admit we haven't got the one thing you're looking for.

10. We always get competitive over upselling new stock.

We're all in competition to prove we're the best at selling, so when our boss tells us the latest bullet promotion has arrived, we're all at war.
Richard Duggan / BuzzFeed

We're all in competition to prove we're the best at selling, so when our boss tells us the latest bullet promotion has arrived, we're all at war.

11. We don't like ID'ing you any more than you like being ID'd.

HBO

If you look under 18, we have to ask for your ID to let you stroll into the adult areas of the shop. And shouting at us won't help you.

12. And we know that asking you whether you want any sex toy wipes is cringe.

But they do keep your toy in good working order!
Richard Duggan / BuzzFeed

But they do keep your toy in good working order!

13. But we don't find words like "clitoris" and "G-spot" even remotely embarrassing. In fact, we say them 100 times every shift.

We're pretty immune to them all.
Viki Bodnar / Via Facebook: viki.bodnar

We're pretty immune to them all.

14. Customers often look scandalised when we remind them they have to keep their own knickers on when trying things on for size.

Walt Disney Pictures

It's for hygiene purposes, so please don't ignore us.

15. We spend most of our shifts size-ordering lingerie.

That's why we always offer to put it back for you.
Viki Bodnar / Via Facebook: viki.bodnar

That's why we always offer to put it back for you.

16. There is a correct way to hang lingerie on those tiny hangers, and it's a real art.

We like the customers who want to make life easy for us and do it themselves, but usually we just have to rehang them to meet standards.
Richard Duggan / BuzzFeed

We like the customers who want to make life easy for us and do it themselves, but usually we just have to rehang them to meet standards.

17. We know it can be cheaper to shop online: There's no point in moaning about it.

We'll gladly order it for you and send it direct to your door.
Annsummers.com / Richard Duggan / BuzzFeed

We'll gladly order it for you and send it direct to your door.

18. Teenage boys love running into the shop to scream "PERVS" and "DILDO" and we love throwing them out.

Grow up; it's just underwear and sex toys.
Viki Bodnar / Via Facebook: viki.bodnar

Grow up; it's just underwear and sex toys.

19. And finally: If you insist on bringing children into the shop, please don't let them run around in the vibrator section.

Walt Disney Pictures

Seriously.