I Watched "Khoon Bhari Maang" For The First Time And Let Me Tell You, It Was A WILD Ride

    Rekha is the undisputed queen, confirmed.

    My entire life, I have believed that "Khoon Bhari Maang" was a movie someone made up for the sole purpose of playing charades. Only very recently did I get to know that it is, in fact, a real film, and is actually hailed as an iconic cult movie. And so, of course, I had to watch it.

    Released in 1988, this was a "comeback" film for Rekha, who headlines it, featuring prominently in the movie as well as the poster. This is rare for Bollywood of the 80s, which was the era of macho action heroes. YOU GO, QUEEN! 👏

    The poster for the movie khoon bhari maang with rekha brandishing a gun, hugging several of her costars, while kabir bedi holds sonu walia

    Personal observation: It takes a long time to convince someone to watch a movie called "Khoon Bhari Maang" with you, but after a lot of persuasion, I finally managed to find a co-watcher. With absolutely no info on the movie other than the fact that it has Rekha and apparently, a crocodile, we sat down to watch this movie which clocks in at a solid 2.5 hours. And, my god what a film this was 🔥 🔥

    🚨🚨🚨WARNING: LOTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD!🚨🚨🚨

    The credits artwork is really nice, actually.

    We are introduced to Aarti (Rekha), a young widow and we are supposed to believe that simply due to a birthmark on her face, she's not a beautiful woman.

    A salwar suit clad aarti smiles in a still from the movie

    Aarti is rich. Like, super rich. She has a rich father with a flourishing business, and a rich dead husband who left her all his wealth and property. He also left her a horse, btw, named Raja. And Raja dances whenever he eats sugar.

    And of course, not even five minutes into the movie, we have the first song, "Haste Haste Katt Jaye Raste". KBM has an iconic soundtrack.

    Okay this film is hella fast-paced. By the tenth minute, Aarti's father is murdered by his colleague, Hiralal, who was cheating him financially.

    Aarti is devastated and is comforted by her faithful dog, Jumbo, and her bestie Nandini (who is a supermodel).

    Aarti holds on to her dog and cries while her friend looks on

    Jumbo also instinctively knows that Hiralal is the killer and always barks at him. The animals in this movie are the real heroes, actually.

    A man is scared of a dog

    Enter Sanjay Verma (Kabir Bedi), Hiralal's nephew and Nandini's lover/partner-in-crime. He has a plan to marry the now-orphaned and widowed Aarti, bump her off, and inherit her millions.

    Song time! Nandini makes it painfully obvious that she wants Sanjay and Aarti to get together...

    Sanjay wears booty shorts and bonds with Aarti's children.

    Sanjay speaks to aarti's children while holding a racquet and clad in booty shorts and bonds

    Jumbo is the only smart one here, tbh. His powers always tell him who the villain is.

    Sanjay and the kids become besties...

    Sanjay embraces aarti's kids

    ...and Sanjay becomes Aarti's confidant, and eventually proposes to her, which she accepts.

    Sanjay speaks to aarti

    Nandini and the children go along with Sanjay and Aarti to their honeymoon at Sitapur Farms. After a lot of song and dance, Sanjay "kills" Aarti (!!!!) by throwing her towards a hungry crocodile.

    Aarti apparently dies and all that's left is this pool of incredibly fake-looking blood.

    A pool of fake looking blood in the water

    Sanjay soon learns, however, that the law can't declare Aarti dead until her body is found or until seven years have lapsed, which means he can't inherit her wealth before that. Resentful and frustrated, he takes out his anger on Aarti's kids and pets.

    Sanjay's lawyer, clad in a suit, speaks while sitting in front of a window dotted with idols and showpieces

    Aarti's not dead, of course. Saved by a fisherman, she is disfigured due to the mauling by the crocodile. Hurt by Sanjay's betrayal, she swears to take revenge.

    A disfigured aarti cries while the fisherman speaks to her

    There's an a-ha! moment when Aarti says, "Usne sindoor ki jagah meri maang mein khoon bhar diya!" Does everyone else love it when actors say the name of the film in the film?

    She sells her jewels and gets plastic surgery in an unnecessarily explicit scene where the doctors even use a vegetable peeler to "surgically" remove her skin...

    An operation theatre where surgery is being performed on aarti

    We have an unboxing video where Aarti's new face is revealed. We're supposed to pretend that she looks unrecognisably different and beautiful but really...she just looks like herself.

    She even attends her children's annual day and they just. Don't. Recognize. Her.

    Aarti looks at her children during their annual function

    Aarti takes on the name "Jyoti", signs up to the same modelling agency where Nandini works, and slowly becomes a top model and the "It Girl".

    Sanjay sees her photo on a magazine cover and falls in love with her at first sight...

    Sanjay reads a magazine

    Losing her stardom and her lover to Jyoti, Nandini is jealous...

    Nandini and JD have a conversation

    And as the obvious, logical next step, Jyoti and Nandini have a dance off! It's a gloriously over-the-top and camp-y number...

    Meanwhile JD, at whose house Jyoti stays, slowly figures out her true identity.

    The photos of aarti/jyoti's children

    Aarti's old domestic worker, Ramu Kaka, overhears Sanjay and Hiralal discussing Aarti's father's murder, so they kill him too.

    Sanjay tortures a domestic worker who is wearing a turban. Hiralal appears shocked

    Aarti/Jyoti goes to Sanjay's house (i.e. her own old house) and sees how cruel he is to her children.

    Sanjay scolds aarti/jyoti's children while they're sitting at the dining table

    She also meets her dog, Jumbo, who instantly recognizes her.

    Aarti/jyoti pets jumbo

    Angrily, she reveals her true identity to Hiralal, tortures him, and with some help from Jumbo, kills him.

    Then, Jyoti/Aarti and Sanjay travel to Sitapur Farms (the same place Aarti was "killed"!!!) where she reunites with her sugar-crazy horse Raja and the loyal groom Baaliya.

    A horse groom touches aarti/jyoti's feet while she stands outside the stable

    Nandini, jealous and feeling replaced, shows up (in an absolutely gorgeous dress) and threatens to tell Jyoti about Sanjay's murderous nature.

    Sanjay and nandini have a conversation

    And then (*drumroll*) Jyoti/Aarti arrives, on Raja the horse, carrying a gun, dressed all in leather, and reveals her true identity to the two people she once loved, but who had betrayed her!

    Nandini sits atop a horse and brandishes a rifle

    In the ensuing fight, Nandini redeems herself by sacrificing her own life to save Aarti's,

    Aarti overpowers Sanjay and drags him to the very lake where he tried to kill her.

    The crocodile eagerly waddles around and watches the fighting, knowing that whichever way the fight goes, it is assured of a good meal.

    Of course, Aarti wins, and Sanjay becomes crocodile dinner. It is rather satisfying, despite the clearly fake blood (again).

    All that is left of him a pool of blood. It is literally the same as the one we had seen during Aarti's "murder" and I'm convinced that they just reused some footage for this.

    A pool of fake blood in the water

    Aarti and her children reunite, together at last. There is slow-motion running and hugging.

    And while the movie ends with this family reunion, we all know who the real hero is...

    Characters embrace each other while the end credits start to roll

    JUMBO! ❤️❤️❤️

    In conclusion, as my friend put it...

    The verdict: "Khoon Bhari Maang" is a really, really entertaining movie, and I can see why it has become a cult film of sorts. It's WAY ahead of its time, smart with just the right amount of masala, has some great costumes and, of course, it stars Rekha. Five stars 🤩

    It's my new favourite movie. Watch it now!