This is Brittany Mease from Wylie, Texas, with her 9-year-old son, Gray, and 5-year-old daughter, Ily.
"I despise doing 'Elf on the Shelf' every year, so this year I decided that I’d have him arrive with a broken leg and blame the kids for leaving toys out," Mease told BuzzFeed News.
"That bought me 14 days of not having to move him," she said.
On Sunday, her friend's kids who were visiting noticed that the elf had not moved in more than 14 days.
"The kids noticed he hadn’t moved and began to ask questions," Mease said.
So, she stashed the "Elf on the Shelf" in the oven and forgot about it until Monday, when she turned the oven on.
"I started to smell something really funky and yelled to my friend that the fucking elf was in the oven!" Mease said.
Here's a look at the crime scene.
The kids had very different reactions to the Elf's "murder," according to their mom. "My son was devastated and my daughter was glad he was dead so he couldn’t tell on her anymore," Mease said.
Mease thinks parents can relate to her Facebook post. "There may be a handful that actually enjoy moving the damn thing every night and then cleaning up the messes it makes, but not me, and not most from what I’ve been told," she said.
"The best part about going viral is the awareness that I have the potential to raise," Mease added. "My 5-year-old has had three brain surgeries in the last two years and there’s no cure. She has Chiari malformation, along with epilepsy and other medical issues, and I’ve done my best since I was pregnant with her to raise awareness."
By the way, the elf was resurrected. "Since I couldn’t ruin it for my kids, a professional Santa delivered our new Elfis, that I dirtied up a little with ashes from a candle, to our house," Mease said.
Here's Mease's massively viral Facebook post about the incident. "Damn this 'Elf on the Shelf' shit," she says near the end of the post. "Wish me luck."
*colorful language warning*
Mom of the year award goes to yours truly 🏆
Y’all know I can’t stand doing Elf on the Shelf but I suck it up every year and do it to see those precious smiles on my beautiful children’s faces😒
Elfis, our elf that we’ve had for 5 years, arrived on December 1st with a broken leg and blamed it on the kids for leaving their toys out, saying he tripped and broke his leg but Doc McStuffins fixed him up and put a cast on him. The note told the kids that he was on strict bedrest orders and couldn’t move for 14 days. [[Mom win, right? I just got a free pass to not worry about moving that creepy guy for TWO WEEKS! Heck ya!]]
The other day the kids noticed that it had been longer than 14 days and he hadn’t moved so when they weren’t looking I grabbed him off the kitchen counter and quickly tossed him in the oven until I could move him later and not raise any suspicion. They have been waiting for him to come back for a couple days but life’s been a little crazy with Gray being super sick and my life being a joke in general so...... I forgot.
I seriously forgot I put the freaking elf in the freaking oven
Today the kids wanted leftover pasta for lunch and Gray likes it when I bake leftover pasta because he says it tastes better so that’s exactly what I did. (I will literally do anything to get him to eat right now since he’s not had an appetite lately...)
I preheated the oven and started cleaning the kitchen. About 4 minutes later I started to smell something REALLY funky and that’s when all hell broke loose and I broke my son’s heart.
In mid conversation with Brittany I yelled “FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!! THE ELF! THE
FUCKING ELF IS IN THE OVEN” Brittany rushed in to help me get him out and Gray came in the kitchen with excitement (literally the happiest I think I’ve seen him since he got out of the hospital) thinking our elf was back but his world fell apart as we were using kitchen utensils to get our burnt and melting elf out of the damn oven.
I would have thought that with Gray being older he would have laughed at it but it was Ily that laughed and Gray that got his little heart broken💔 I seriously suck.
Sooooo.... guess what I’m doing today? I’m having to scramble and find the other elf we have and then I have to call Santa (in front of the kids) and ask him if he will please pick Elfis up tonight. Ya know, since he is unable to make it to the North Pole to get fixed because his head literally popped off from being too hot once we pulled him out of the oven and his feet are completely melted off.
Damn this Elf on the Shelf shit. Wish me luck. Let’s see how I get myself outta this one 😐
[update: Ily was “glad the elf is gone because now he can’t tell on her” — she’s a Savage child. #SavageMILSOs raise #SavageMilBrats]
[Please check my FB to see the updates on how Elfis made his comeback and how my son saved my sanity by permanently assigning him a seat to return to so he doesn’t die again]
Only three more days, Brittany!
Remy Smidt is a reporter with BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Remy Smidt at email@example.com.
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