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75 Thoughts We've All Had During A Hangover

I'm just going to take a nap right here.

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1. See above.

2. Where the hell am I?

3. Who the fuck are you?

4. How did I get here?

5. I cannot function right now.

6. I need to get food.

7. Did I eat last night?

8. Oh, this is dried ketchup.


10. What the hell happened last night?

11. What is this bruise?

12. What did I do last night?

13. I can't remember anything.

14. I need to lie down.

15. But first I need to take a dump.

16. What a fine log.

17. Still feel like shit.


19. I need to throw up.

20. I am going to make myself throw up.

21. I fucking hate my life.

22. I hate everyone.

23. Where is my phone?

24. What the fuck happened to my phone?

25. God I stink.

26. Someone definitely cried last night.

27. Oh shit that was me.

28. The walk of shame. I am doing the walk of shame.

29. I can't feel my legs.

30. Everyone is staring.

31. Why is this person talking to me?

32. Do I look like I can hold a conversation?

33. I think you've just realized I'm brain dead.

34. Good, fuck off.

35. Why are there so many kids around?

36. God I hate kids.

37. I hate smiles and happiness.

38. If someone comes near my McDonald's I swear I will scream.

39. McDonald's has actually just saved my life.

40. The only thing I need in my life is McDonald's.

41. And Burger King.

42. And KFC.

43. Pizza is good too.

44. Where can I get pizza?

45. How much money did I spend last night?

46. No money for pizza.

47. I think I'm still drunk.

48. I just can't deal with this right now.

49. I want to crawl into a hole and die.

50. I wonder what the minimum order is for Domino's delivery?

51. Uggggggh.

52. I cannot physically move.

53. This is the worst hangover ever.

54. There is a world full of pain and I am in it.

55. I'm just going to take a nap right here.

56. I don't want to do anything.


58. I am too old for this shit.

59. I need another dump.

60. How is it possible that I feel worse?

61. 21st century and still no hangover cure. GREAT JOB SCIENCE PEOPLE.

62. I am SO hungover.

63. This is the most hungover I have ever been.

64. I want to be held like a newborn babe.

65. I'd rather die that endure this any longer.

66. Someone shoot me.

67. Did that happen last night?

68. That didn't happen last night


70. If I don't remember, it didn't happen.


72. If anyone asks, you went straight home.

73. I am a fucking disgrace.

74. I am never drinking again.

75. I wonder what everyone's doing tonight?

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