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    75 Thoughts We've All Had During A Hangover

    I'm just going to take a nap right here.

    1. See above.

    2. Where the hell am I?

    3. Who the fuck are you?

    4. How did I get here?

    5. I cannot function right now.

    6. I need to get food.

    7. Did I eat last night?

    8. Oh, this is dried ketchup.


    10. What the hell happened last night?

    11. What is this bruise?

    12. What did I do last night?

    13. I can't remember anything.

    14. I need to lie down.

    15. But first I need to take a dump.

    16. What a fine log.

    17. Still feel like shit.


    19. I need to throw up.

    20. I am going to make myself throw up.

    21. I fucking hate my life.

    22. I hate everyone.

    23. Where is my phone?

    24. What the fuck happened to my phone?

    25. God I stink.

    26. Someone definitely cried last night.

    27. Oh shit that was me.

    28. The walk of shame. I am doing the walk of shame.

    29. I can't feel my legs.

    30. Everyone is staring.

    31. Why is this person talking to me?

    32. Do I look like I can hold a conversation?

    33. I think you've just realized I'm brain dead.

    34. Good, fuck off.

    35. Why are there so many kids around?

    36. God I hate kids.

    37. I hate smiles and happiness.

    38. If someone comes near my McDonald's I swear I will scream.

    39. McDonald's has actually just saved my life.

    40. The only thing I need in my life is McDonald's.

    41. And Burger King.

    42. And KFC.

    43. Pizza is good too.

    44. Where can I get pizza?

    45. How much money did I spend last night?

    46. No money for pizza.

    47. I think I'm still drunk.

    48. I just can't deal with this right now.

    49. I want to crawl into a hole and die.

    50. I wonder what the minimum order is for Domino's delivery?

    51. Uggggggh.

    52. I cannot physically move.

    53. This is the worst hangover ever.

    54. There is a world full of pain and I am in it.

    55. I'm just going to take a nap right here.

    56. I don't want to do anything.

    57. WINE IS EVIL.

    58. I am too old for this shit.

    59. I need another dump.

    60. How is it possible that I feel worse?

    61. 21st century and still no hangover cure. GREAT JOB SCIENCE PEOPLE.

    62. I am SO hungover.

    63. This is the most hungover I have ever been.

    64. I want to be held like a newborn babe.

    65. I'd rather die that endure this any longer.

    66. Someone shoot me.

    67. Did that happen last night?

    68. That didn't happen last night


    70. If I don't remember, it didn't happen.


    72. If anyone asks, you went straight home.

    73. I am a fucking disgrace.

    74. I am never drinking again.

    75. I wonder what everyone's doing tonight?