Buzz·Posted on 26 Jan 201718 Fuckboys Who Completely Failed At Being Fuckboys"If you were a potato I'd have sex with you."by Remee PatelBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. If you're gonna be a fuckboy, at least try to construct a proper sentence. straightwhiteboystexting.org Otherwise we're simply too confused to be repulsed. 2. Maybe get another fuckboy to proofread your messages. straightwhiteboystexting.org The misspelling is even more of a turn-off than the question tbh. 3. If you're gonna use the ol' "I must have typed that in my sleep" excuse, at least make it worth it. straightwhiteboystexting.org "Wish I was up there with you." Up where? Heaven? What? 4. And know that autocorrect is not your friend! straightwhiteboystexting.org Because now I want to know more about your honeybees, Ronald. 5. If you're gonna be a fuckboy, never reveal why you are a fuckboy. straightwhiteboystexting.org We know anyway. 6. Fuckboys often get to the point quickly, so don't go overboard with your opening line. straightwhiteboystexting.org Because then we'll just ask you if you're okay when you really want us to tell you to fuck off. 7. And for the LOVE OF GOD make sure you get it right the first time! straightwhiteboystexting.org You don't want our pity you want our disgust! 8. Never ever say "Holy garbanzo beans". straightwhiteboystexting.org It's just not the done thing in fuckboy circles. 9. Or "dingleling". straightwhiteboystexting.org Cock, wang, shlong, piece, dick — believe it or not, all of these are much better options. 10. Incest is never cool. Even fuckboys know that. straightwhiteboystexting.org There are some territories even fuckboys don't enter. 11. And JFC, do not talk about having sex with a potato! straightwhiteboystexting.org Leave the potatoes alone! Don't be that guy! 12. Or your dog! straightwhiteboystexting.org Just talk about your dick! Tell us how big it is! 13. Basically please just avoid dragging family members or pets into your fuckboy life, okay? shitpeopleontindersay.tumblr.com We'll just call the police or the RSPCA. 14. Make sure you follow through with your lines, don't half-ass being a fuckboy! straightwhiteboystexting.org Commit! Could be very confusing otherwise. 15. And whatever you do, don't repeat yourself. straightwhiteboystexting.org You are a fuckboy NOT a fuckrobot. Although granted, that's probably to come. 16. Always make it clear that you're a fuck-boy, and not say, a really weird perverted cat. View this photo on Instagram Instagram: @shodans_server Stop the meowing, it's very confusing. 17. Don't be overly persistent, know when you have failed! straightwhiteboystexting.org You're not good at this and it's OK. 18. And finally, reflect privately. straightwhiteboystexting.org Is the fuckboy life for you? Are you actually just a nice person that cannot communicate properly? Don't be ashamed to talk to people like they're human beings! H/T this excellent Tumblr : straightwhiteboystexting.