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    18 Tweets That Are As Funny As They Are True

    "Good morning to everyone except people who don't clear the last 2 seconds on the microwave."

    1.

    can’t believe how early I used to get up to do my hair and make up so I looked at least half decent for school, now… https://t.co/6JGmajES6D

    2.

    why is being alive so expensive. im not even having a good time

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    Does anyone else get re-annoyed? Like yeah I know it happened ages ago but it's annoying me

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    I hate when my Touch ID doesn’t work on my phone like c’mon you already know it’s me with a little chicken tenders grease

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    See when u get a parcel delivered n the guy asks u to sign his wee phone thing, Ye could actual draw a ragin boaby… https://t.co/ojvQbmozVl

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    [jogging] brain: let's talk shall we me: ok brain: are we being chased me: no brain: are we chasing something me: n… https://t.co/8fwNXfoKAA

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    me: i wanna die me, after a concert: honestly? there’s so much to live for :) like what a high what a rush i can’t… https://t.co/HF2Y5kmM8Y

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    *does a face mask* this is going to fix everything.

    12.

    Good morning to everyone except people who don't clear the last 2 seconds on the microwave.

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    friends: hey let’s cancel our plans for tonight me age 21: no that’s bullshit friends: hey let’s cancel our plans… https://t.co/lVlFemXwF7

    14.

    being an adult is basically just walking around saying "it's pretty cold outside" then someone else saying "yeah, but it's nice in the sun"

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    2 things lotion won't let you do when it's on your hands because it's evil: 1) escape the bathroom 2) open a beer

    17.

    Me: [first day at work] I’ve finally found my dream job. Me: [4 days later] I just want to go home, nobody likes me… https://t.co/lqDAsjPXRx

    18.

    me going outside on a cold day - top half: long sleeve t-shirt, jumper, body warmer, scarf, hat, gloves, big coat… https://t.co/dehi4oZ36g

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