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19 Tweets That Will Make All Women Say "I'm Screaming"

"All dudes wanna do is have sex with you 1 time and then like your IG posts forever."

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1.

*uses last breath to grunt in Extremely Manly Voice* living is for GIRLS

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all dudes wanna do is have sex with you 1 time and then like your IG posts forever

3.

“Everybody loves us weird girls, right up until we start doing weird girl shit,” I say to my cat, as we watch a doc… https://t.co/fRAbcXMHJp

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A savage on the 25a is telling her friend how she plays her ex’s lotto numbers every week so that if he wins he’ll have to split it with her

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6.

Tonight I told a man how old I am and he told me I was wrong I think this might be peak mansplaining.

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*Wakes him from sleeping* You seem distant.

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"So You Were Trying to Be Polite But Now He Wants to Wear Your Skin As Pajamas: A Woman's Guide to the Internet"

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9.

[Changes Siri to male] ME: Siri, tell me the— MALE SIRI: Listen, here’s what you need to know. ME: I… MALE SIRI: Excuse me, I’m speaking

10.

GOD: Let there be women WOMEN: Cool GOD: But no pockets WOMEN: What? GOD: Put your stuff in a bag lol MEN: lol GOD: lol

11.

You ever send ya man a funny meme & he say he already saw it..like wow u laughed at it & didnt think that maybe I w… https://t.co/GQDPp4pzqY

12.

I talk a lot of shit for someone who can’t put her panties on without falling over.

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13.

Once a month my uterus tries to destroy me but please continue your harrowing tale about the agony of breaking in your new loafers.

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starting a charity that buys men in their 20s hand towels for their bathroom so u don't have to dry ur hands on their nasty body towels

16.

Him: Baby are you mad? Me: Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... Typing... No, why?

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17.

I feel bad for women who say finding true love is the best experience in life. They've obviously never found their bra size on clearance.

18.

if a guy wants me to wear less makeup all he gotta do is ask and imma say no

19.

I unconsciously smile at people's dogs as they walk them down the street. Recently I smiled at a man's dog as I was… https://t.co/GGgOMqJGiA