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19 Tweets About Healthy Eating That Are Funny Because They're True

"Use cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes, rice, and any joy in your life. You have no friends now, there is only cauliflower."

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1.

me: I'm gonna start eating healthy Also me: treat yourself one last time, you deserve it

2.

Me: I feel awful Doctor: Try eating a well balanced diet Me: ehhhh. What else you got

3.

Personal Trainer: No pain, no gain Me: Deal

4.

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5.

Use cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes, rice, and any joy in your life. You have no friends now, there is only cauliflower.

6.

"Why can't I lose weight?" he thought, while comfortably laying in bed drinking a cookies n cream milkshake.

7.

Drinking wheatgrass juice is a great way to know what being a lawnmower tastes like.

8.

Why do I feel like shit whenever I eat pizza? Am I not eating enough pizzas

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9.

me: I'm gonna start eating healthy and exercising *hears bag of chips being opened* me:

10.

I long to go back in time and revel in that feeling of desperate optimism that swept over me 6 days ago when I bought this bag of spinach.

11.

SUNDAY: buys $100 worth of groceries MON: baked salmon with asparagus TUES: hamburgers WED: I'm out of ideas let's order pizza

12.

Me: I'm going to start working out tomorrow. Him: You say that every day. Me: Yes but this time I'm not drunk.

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13.

Doctor: drink 2 cups of water before each meal Me: why? D: it tricks your stomach into thinking its full M: that sounds like a mean trick

14.

Me after saying no to mimosas at brunch once

15.

Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad. Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*

16.

AT A WHOLE FOODS: this change begins now. a better diet means a better me. AT A GAS STATION: whats these two slushies taste like... together

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17.

1. Wear Fitbit 2. Pack gym clothes 3. Pack salad 4. Go to work 5. Eat donut 6. Go out for lunch 7. Skip gym Rinse and Repeat.

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19.

The best thing about working out and eating well is knowing that eventually I'll be dead and won't have to do this anymore