1. When you're instant messaging your boss and they ask for something and instead of saying "one sec" you type "ONE SEX".
2. When someone you don't even know waves at you but you wave back enthusiastically and they look at you weird because they were actually waving at the person behind you, the person they actually know.
3. When you're at a restaurant and your food arrives and the waiter says "Enjoy your meal!" and you say "You too!' even though they're not eating because THEY ARE THE WAITER.
4. When you make a professional phone call but it goes to voicemail and you forget how to speak English and end up saying something like "Hello call me back it's..I've forgotten my name..and my number ok bye love you".
5. When you're just passing by someone very quickly and they say "Y'alright?" and instead of say "Hey" and moving on you say "Yes good thanks, you?" and force them to have a conversation while you're walking away from each other in opposite directions.
6. When you're left to introduce two people but you can't remember either of their names so you just have to sort of say "Hey! Meet each other, you guys meet! Both of you!"
7. When you're walking in a group with an odd number of people and somehow everyone is walking in pairs and you sort of end up just walking behind them silently while they chat.
8. When you're talking with people and you can feel like they're looking at you oddly but you brush it off as paranoia but then when you go to the toilet you realise you had a big dried bit of bogey coming out of your nose.
9. When you take off your shoes under your desk and someone goes "PWOAR SOMETHING STINKS OF CHEESEY FEET" and you know it's your feet so you silently put your shoes back on.
10. When you're sleeping soundly but you wake yourself up by your own really loud fart and you laugh and then roll over and realise YOU FORGOT YOU'RE SHARING A BED WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
11. When you're with a group of people and someone makes a joke that you didn't quite hear but you laugh loudly anyway but then someone else who didn't hear asks you what the joke was and you have to say "Uhm, something about I can't remember now but it was good."
12. Or when someone gives you a task or information but you didn't quite understand what they said so you ask them to repeat it but you still don't get it so you just say "Ok great" because you can't ask them a third time even though you're now completely fucked.
13. When you make a joke and you hear someone laugh and you’re so happy they laughed but turns out they were laughing at something else.
14. When you're walking fast up some stairs thinking you're the shit because you're so healthy and swift but then you slip and faceplant into one of the steps.
15. When you go for a wee in a public toilet, but you're so desperate that you wee so hard and let out a long, loud fart.
16. When you're eating something and someone is talking to you and instead of waiting to swallow you try to respond to them and bits of food fall out of your mouth.
17. When you decide to try something different, like for example, a funky new hat, and someone says to you "Why are you wearing that?"
18. Or when you use slang to try and seem cool in front of other people and they say "Did you just say it was lit?"
19. When you're drinking a nice glass of wine with a friend but then for some reason you forget how to put a glass to your lips and you dribble a large sip of wine all the way down your chin and front.
20. When you walk past a sandwich shop and you think "Ooh I could have a sandwich" and so you go to the shop but then you can't figure out how to open the door so you assume it's closed and you walk away but then you see people go in after you and it turns out you just didn't know how to open a door.
21. When you have a massive bit of phlegm stuck in your throat and so you cough and it gathers up but you can't spit it out anywhere because you're on the bus and so you have to swallow it but as you do it a little kid stares at you.
22. When you're meeting your friend but you're there early so you decide to hide and scare them for the lols and you get really excited and then dramatically go "RARRR" at them when they arrive and they just stare at you blankly.
23. When you're walking down a busy street and you go to overtake people on the path but then suddenly and inexplicably become conscious of your walking and so you end up walking at a weird rhythm where you half hop and take extra wide strides.
24. When you're meeting your friend Linda who's already in a shop looking at clothes and you go up behind her and pinch her ass and say "Linda you fucking shlagggggg" and she turns around but it's not Linda.
25. When you're at the office and you're listening to music while you work but forget you have headphones plugged into your laptop so you get up to go to the toilet and rip your headphones out and everyone suddenly hears you've been listening to "Despacito".
26. When you're making small talk with someone but you're not really listening and so you just say something like "Wow that shit is BANANAS" and they go "What is?" and it turns out all they said was 'What's time is the meeting?"
27. When you're out doing some shopping and some man offering samples is outside a cute store and so you take one and smile and put it in your mouth and they look at you in horror and say "Madam that was soap".
28. When you go home and make a cup of tea and sit down and you suddenly realise your couch looks different and then some old lady comes in and screams at you and you realise this isn't your house.