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19 Twitter Stories That Will Make Piss Yourself Laughing

Short stories of a hilarious kind.

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1.

My coworker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn’t try going back t… https://t.co/mWcbZ3QQb5

2.

My roommate went on a bumble date and was nervous so decided to pound shots in her car once she got to the place th… https://t.co/JYz9YISSeD

3.

13 years ago I ordered an m&m blizzard at Dairy Queen and the lady who took my order screamed “ONE SMALL M&M BLIZZA… https://t.co/SBoSyGPCGP

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4.

In my 6th grade science class a girl read "orgasm" instead of "organism" and the class laughed & she was embarrasse… https://t.co/I0cvmVpN0c

5.

When my youngest brother was little he was being bullied and went to my parents for help. They told him “Sticks and… https://t.co/sLBvMUwmDR

6.

a girl passed out at the party im at and was out for a solid hour or so and then we started playing africa and she… https://t.co/69lLuHrQIY

7.

I was in Walgreens and a girl screamed out “this my third Walgreens who tf buying up all the plan b’s?!” 😭😭😭 y’all… https://t.co/imM2oSmy8c

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8.

Earlier today I went to a girl's highschool soccer game and there was a rough play where two players went to the gr… https://t.co/CyBUJNPjId

9.

he's 5 years old and said a curse word one day in response to not getting his way. i got eye level with him and tol… https://t.co/n3jhWmB8gy

10.

So they changed my gate in my layover and I ask the employee what the gate changed too. I showed her my screenshott… https://t.co/9cYeJ35z8y

11.

My aunt got a google home for Xmas & she already has “Alexa”. This morning we were messing around with the google h… https://t.co/rwpyCkciEp

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12.

once we went to the dentist w my mom & it was just us and 1 other guy in the waiting room. jurassic park was starti… https://t.co/bUFKgBnSfn

13.

just heard a drunk girl outside my house scream “I’m going to Jeff’s!” and like three friends simultaneously said “… https://t.co/1RIIJLk15h

14.

I met someone today who worked for Triple A and I thought they said Chick-fil-A so after 15 min of talking, I asked… https://t.co/6PvZ9dECHp

15.

today in class this guy I was sitting next to had a bag of carrots & the entire class he kept throwing them into hi… https://t.co/RBOBfQeOdc

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16.

So this girl I volunteer with showed me this video last week of her leg giving out during a HS dive competition and… https://t.co/oWMzA2wOm6

17.

My man just FaceTimed me drunk as hell eating a slice of pizza while walking down the street and he goes YOU WANNA… https://t.co/ehU9wU125A

18.

So get this, two years ago in South Padre this girl let me log into her Spotify premium for a pregame and she still… https://t.co/MH31zfBeGr

19.

This guy got on the bus and just stared at me and Lulabelle on my lap for a solid 30 seconds then goes “are you all… https://t.co/fsGw2YvQRL

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