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How Many Of These Terrible Things Have You Seen From Men On Tinder?

Tinderfella and The Giant Boner.

Posted on
  1. Tick off all that you have witnessed from men on Tinder:

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    Picture of them posing with a heavily sedated tiger
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    Bio telling you their whole life story
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    A guy really into feet
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    An explicit picture of oral sex because they just love “pleasuring women”
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    Bio stating height followed by: “Apparently this is important..”
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    Selfie of them flexing in the gym
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    Selfie of them in the car looking seductive
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    Selfie of them in bed looking sleepy, yet seductive
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    Selfie of them in bed with a really interesting caption such as: “Mmm so sleepy”
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    Selfie of them in bed with a really interesting caption such as: “Who wants to join me????”
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    Bathroom selfie
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    Poorly taken bathroom selfie that makes you wonder why they even bothered taking a bathroom selfie do they not understand how to take a bathroom selfie
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    Picture of them with ten other mates being absolute LADS
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    Picture of them with ten other mates at a pool party having an absolutely great time because LADS LADS LADS
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    A picture of an erect penis in boxers
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    A picture of a flaccid penis in boxers
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    A FULL ON DICK PIC
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    A PENIS ACTUALLY EJACULATING
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    A PENIS ACTUALLY EJACULATING ONTO A MIRROR (because, art)
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    Picture of them in a very very low cut top displaying their man cleavage
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    Bio with a list of their likes and dislikes
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    Including how they like having fun
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    And hate not having fun
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    And how they hate it when women never message first
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    And “If we match and you’re not gonna talk don't waste my time”
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    A picture of them holding the cutest puppy you have ever seen, but that clearly isn’t theirs and they are using it to trap you and it’s totally working
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    A picture of them holding a baby but then a bio saying it’s not their baby but you’re not still sure where they got the baby who is the baby
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    An S&M/bondage picture from someone who works in finance and wants to escape their life
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    Bio saying “if you don’t look like your profile pic you’re buying the drinks until you do”
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    Profile where every picture is a group shot so you have no fucking clue who they are
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    Profile with pictures where their face is obscured by something every god damn time
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    Picture where they have photoshopped themselves saving a baby from a fire
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    Picture where they have photoshopped themselves in a really trippy way for no reason whatsoever apart from to confuse the shit out of you in the hopes you may swipe right.
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    A stock picture of a woman moaning because that’s exactly what you’re going to look like if they get the chance to pleasure you
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    A picture of a celebrity because of course they are David Beckham and David Beckham is on Tinder
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    A picture of them with a celebrity making it look like they know them when really they just met them that one time when they were on drugs in Ibiza
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    A picture of them in Thailand probably taken in 2006
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    A picture of them looking pretty cosy with someone who is probably their ex-gf
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    Or sister...
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    Or mum...
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    A selfie of their abs
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    A selfie of their abs that gets cut off right before their dick but provides just enough of a glimpse into their pube situation
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    A picture of them on a boat. BECAUSE THEY ARE ON A BOAT.
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    A Linkedin picture because they like to mix business with pleasure and maintain a healthy work-life balance.
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    A bio mentioning their Instagram
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    Or Blackberry pin
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    Or Twitter handle
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    A bio with them asking you to add them on any of the above
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    Especially on “Insta”
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    A hot personal trainer making a shameless plug and has no intention of dating you
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    A picture saying "I earn 160k”
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    With a bio saying “NO GOLD DIGGERS PLEASE!”
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    A picture of them surrounded by pretty women
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    A picture of them at a wedding that looks a lot like it could be their own wedding and it probably is
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    A picture of them and their partner both looking for a “good time”
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    A series of post-it-notes that tell a compelling story about how you should swipe right
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    A legit vampire
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    A picture of them looking like a gangsta with their very gangsta friends
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    Pictures that seemingly demonstrate some sort of cult probably looking for a sacrifice
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    A picture of them humping something, displaying their sexual prowess
 
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