1. Having to think of crafty ways to get your mates to come to the pub:
2. But also having to prove that you don't live at one:
Nailed it.
3. Because we're utterly obsessed with 'Spoons:
This is literally the worst poem ever written
4. Having the constant fear that that there won't be enough booze:
5. Fry-ups being ruined by hipsters:
Oh good god, no.
6. And being given a half-arsed tea:
Mum forgot to do Garlic Bread with tea, more like chilli con cannot be arsed, Jane.
7. Because garlic bread is a national treasure and should be treated as such:
FaceTiming my oven so I can see when my garlic bread is done.
8. Awkward small talk with your cabbie:
wis in a taxi going to work n the cunt asked "so wit is it ye do?" a replied "work in a bank mate you?" Just let me oot here mate al walk it
9. Measures being absurdly small in Britain meaning that going on holiday equals instantly getting trashed:
asked for a vodka n coke last night in menorca n look at the fuckin state ae that, that's a pint glass, that's atte… https://t.co/JHg5QzwrfZ
10. Misunderstanding one another because of our many dialects:
Boy behind the bar said to jason "£4 a pint £8 a pitcher" jason goes "were no wanting a photo just a pint please" 😂😂😂😂😂
11. And the ever-lasting North/South divide:
londoner: hi northerner: hiGH like your house prices 😂😂 honestly you couldn't pay me to live in london 🙅🙅 enjoy your smog-infested bubble 👋🏻
12. TV schedules:
ITV2: We Played The Mummy Returns 3 times this month ITV2 to ITV2: Play it again
13. Having to be polite at all times:
Everyone in England - Person A - 'alright mate, how's it going?' Person B - (lying) 'yeah good, you?' Person A - (also lying) 'yeah good'
14. Too polite:
When you ask "Who wants a brew?" and suddenly you're making 5 cups of tea, 2 nutty mochas and a tall, non-fat latte with caramel drizzle.
15. Because we can't handle the truth:
Customers just asked me what perfume I've got on, didn't have the heart to tell her I'd febreze'd myself so I said it were Marc Jacobs ffs
16. Having to come up with different ways to say thank you because we say it so goddamn much:
When you follow someone through multiple doors
17. Soap storylines reaching an embarrassing level:
LMFAO Hollyoaks writers need to be stopped😭
18. And our reality TV shows taking it a step too far:
I’m dead 😂😂😂