1. When you wear a dress and your thighs start fighting with eachother, eventually leading to the dreaded chub rub.
2. So you go to buy shorts to avoid this disaster, only to discover that the shorts sold are always far too tight and far too short.
3. When you walk past an air vent or a gust of wind catches the bottom of your skirt and you barely have enough time to prevent the world from seeing your panties.
4. When you realise you need to shave your legs before you wear a skirt out, so have to do a rush job over the bath.
5. And while you're rushing you think "why have I internalized these beauty standards for women? I should let my leg hair blow freely in the wind".
6. However you're also thinking "mmm smmooth dolphin legs I can't wait to slide into bed later".
7. And you wonder if this is the summer you'll fully commit to the wax-grow-wax cycle, thus eliminating ingrown hairs for good.
8. But LOL to that as waxing is $$$$.
9. So you just end up repeating the terrible shaving cycle anyway.
10. When it's three hot days into the summer and the thought occurs to you that you'd look smokin' in a hat.
11. An Instagram-babe hat.
12. But the more hats you try on, the less you think hats suit you.
13. Or maybe all hats suit you?
14. You descend into hat blindness, and decide to take a risk with a bucket hat.
15. It is a huge mistake.
16. When you wear your office-appropriate summer clothes to work, but forget that the air conditioning will make your nips pop out.
17. So you panic buy the cheapest cardigan you can find at lunch.
18. It will sit on your chair all summer, and you will never remember to bring it home.
19. The air conditioning also being so absurdly cold you're forced to start wearing jeans to work.
20. And then remembering that outside of the office, THERE COULDN'T BE ANYTHING WORSE THAN WEARING JEANS.
21. Having a breakdown in the changing rooms after trying on various swimsuits.
22. Because everything seems to be frontless, crotchless, and with about a million cut-outs and ties.
23. Same for all summer clothes, tbh.
24. When your thighs sticks to any chair you sit on and you have to painfully peel them off as you're getting up.
25. And when you worry you're gonna leave a very obvious patch of vag sweat behind.
26. Speaking of vag sweat, having to deal with that AND your period combined.
27. Not to mention the sea of sweat in your bra on a daily basis.
28. Which sometimes emits a very strange scent, meaning you can no longer wear your bra for nine days in a row like you normally would.
29. Trying to figure out whether you put suncreen underneath your makeup or on top, and it all inevitably melting together in a mess.
30. So having to constantly powder your face or redo your makeup.
31. Using even more dry shampoo than usual because your hair just seems to look constantly greasy, even wet-looking.
32. Yet despite being clammy everywhere else, your feet being absurdly crusty.
33. And embedded with dirt from the street every time you wear flip-slops or sandals.
34. Wanting to wear a strapless bra but never finding one that gives you support and the reassurance you're not going to accidentally flash people in the street.
35. In fact, boobs just having a mind of their own in hot weather, as if they've broken up with their bra and want to be single for the summer.
36. Falling asleep in the sun in an awkward position with one top strap on and the other hanging down, and so getting weird AF tan lines.
37. But the combination of sand + wet bathing suit + vagina being the most hellish problem of all.