When you arrive for the fifth day in a row and yet they still ask if you've been before.
You insist on looking at the menu even though YOU ORDER THE SAME THING EVERY TIME.
But yet you still take ages agonising over the options.
DAVID KNOWS THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
After settling on the thing you always get, like you thought you would, because that's what you do every time, you toy with the idea of going up a spice level.
Because there is a social stigma attached to Lemon & Herb.
So sometimes you have to go to great lengths to conceal your true spice level.
But then you decide against it after remembering what happened last time...
Then when you're ready to order, you realise your indecision has cost you a good place in the queue.
When you receive your table number you immediately forget it.
So you panic and shout across the restaurant in crazed desperation.
Then you're suddenly crippled with horror when you realise you've also forgot your loyalty card.
When you're the designated refill chump, like poor Tania here.
AND YOU JUST NEVER HAVE ENOUGH HANDS.
All of your mates get their food before you despite being the one to order first.
You ALWAYS eat too much too quickly.
Sometimes, the addiction is too strong and you have to resort to criminal activity.
But get caught cheating the system.
It's just another reminder you're not Ed Sheeran.
Sometimes, the person you love is not the person you thought they were.
Because Nando's is the height of romance.
And you will do ANYTHING for chicken.
Although your efforts won't be rewarded.
What's never a problem though, is eating a fuckload of chicken.