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How Much Of A Stingy Bastard Are You?

IS IT YOUR ROUND? IS IT?

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  1. 1. You’re in the pub with your workmates and you’ve yet to buy a round. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Let someone else who hasn’t got a round in slip ahead of you, you might get away with not buying a round at all!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Acknowledge that it’s your turn and head straight to the bar.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Head to the bar and buy a round plus extra shots, you feel so bad you haven't been yet!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Slip out quietly and fuck off home, drunk on the four pints you didn’t have to pay for.
  2. 2. You’ve just had a lovely dinner with some old friends you haven’t seen in a while. The bill comes and everyone agrees to split it equally for ease. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Go along with it, what’s a few extra quid amongst friends?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Work out everyone's individual bill, split the minimum tip, and only pay your exact share.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    State VERY LOUDLY that you didn’t have coffee/alcohol/dessert and that you shouldn't have to pay an equal share.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Revel in the fact that you ordered wine, dessert AND coffee and that it worked out cheaper for you. You knew they would do this. IDIOTS!
  3. 3. You’ve been invited to a house party and they've asked that you bring a bottle of something as a contribution. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Turn up with a mixer, everyone needs mixer right?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Turn up with some Grey Goose, you're gonna be ballin' tonight!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bring a bottle of wine you picked up from the local offie.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Turn up empty handed, drink everyone else’s alcohol and have a great fucking time!
  4. 4. You’re eating your second packet of McCoys and your Mum complains that she is starving, do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Take out ONE crisp and give it to her in her hand.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Offer her the rest of the bag, you’ve already eaten an entire packet anyway.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Offer to get her her own packet, you’ve got a multipack in your bag.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tell her to fuck right off and get her own fucking food.
  5. 5. It’s your best mate’s birthday and you’re going round for celebrations. What do you turn up with?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Your presence IS the present!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A card and a small token present.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A present, card, balloons, the full works for your BFF!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    A gift you got from your Nan that you absolutely hated and couldn't sell on Ebay.
  6. 6. You’re on a date and it’s your turn to go to the bar. They’ve asked for the “same again”, a large glass of Sauvignon Blanc that costs SEVEN quid. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Order them what they asked for, it’s only fair.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Order them a smaller glass, maybe they won’t notice.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Order them a spritzer with the house white, it's half the fucking price.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Get them a bottle, it makes more sense economically and maybe they will actually start laughing at your shit jokes.
  7. 7. Your kind mate is picking you up from the airport and needs change for parking. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pull out all of your coppers and offer them up to a disgusted face.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Give them everything you have, irrespective of how much it actually is. They have just picked you up after all.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Give them what exactly what they need, it’s a business transaction.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Dig dip into your pockets, feel the fat coins beneath your fingers, feign confusion and say "Oh I thought I had change, sorry mate got nada".
  8. 8. You’re in a taxi with three of your mates on the way to a club. The metre stops at £21.80. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Offer up your crisp £20 note, they can just buy you a drink or whatever.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pretend you don’t have any cash, look really awkward and confused and let someone else sort it because the taxi man is shouting at you hurry up.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Contribute your exact share, no one should have to front the cost.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pay the £1.80, at least you’ve contributed something and in a few hours they won't even remember their own names.
  9. 9. You’re sitting on the toilet having a long, relaxing poo and you’ve realised you’ve used the last of the toilet roll. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Go and replace it it immediately with some super soft luxury bog roll. Your flatmates will need to poo too!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Wait for someone else to get it, you’re always replacing items for the house.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Put all of your saved napkins and kitchen roll in the loo as a temporary solution.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Use the sink as bidet until someone gives in and restocks. You can wait forever but they can’t.
  10. 10. Your colleague has just had a beautiful little baby and there’s a collection going round to buy her a nice present. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Put in all of the random change you have, including some Chinese yuan.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sign the card, slip your empty hand into the bag and pretend you've contributed.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Put in a few quid, after all her life is about to become a fucking misery.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Put in a tenner. Apparently there’s a shortfall and someone's put in some yuan..
  11. 11. Some nice old ladies from the local church have organised a bake sale, with all proceeds going to charitable causes. They have asked that you simply donate “whatever you feel is appropriate”. Do you:

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Give them a penny, HA HA!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Take a tray of cupcakes and donate a quid. You always save when buying in bulk.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Give generously, it is for charity after all.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Look up the average price on your shopping app and pay accordingly.
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