How Popular Are Your London Opinions?

We’re probably all twats tbh.

    1. Yes, because I refuse to wait two minutes for the next train. TIME IS MONEY BABY!
    2. No, I don’t want to squish those poor people even more.
    3. I have once or twice, but only because I was running late.
    1. I’m immediately suspicious and try not to engage with the subject.
    2. I chat to her for little bit just to be polite but feel awkward about it.
    3. You mean Angela? Oh she’s been taking the 125 for years! Her husband knows David Attenborough! Oh Ange is a right laugh!
    1. Yes. Did you know it’s impossible to go to that place and not make out with someone?
    2. No, I’ve heard terrible, terrible things.
    3. What’s “Infernos”?
    1. I huff and puff loudly as I try to find a gap between them to pass through.
    2. I mutter “fucking tourists” as I barge aggressively past them.
    3. I suffer quietly. Aren’t we all tourists in this thing called Life?
    1. I shake with pure rage!!
    2. I’m mildly annoyed.
    3. I’m totally fine with it, another one will come in a couple of minutes anyway.
    1. I would pay for it, you have to pay good money for a half-decent cocktail after all.
    2. I would change my order to something cheaper, like a glass of wine.
    3. I would leave the bar and find a cheap pub.
    1. Yes — north wheezy ‘till I die.
    2. Yes — down saaf ‘till I die.
    3. No, who cares about sides?
    1. Yes, have you been to that bar that’s in a toilet! So eccentric!
    2. No I’ll stick to Zizzi’s, thanks.
    3. What’s a pop-up?
    1. Of course! We’re all very friendly with each other. Susan often gives me some of her avocados when they’re in season! So fresh!
    2. Only my next-door neighbour who I say hello to every now and then. I think he might be a murderer?
    3. No, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen them.
    1. ANOTHER ONE? THERE’S ALREADY THREE FFS.
    2. Perfect! Now I can have my breakfast, lunch, AND dinner there on weekends, too!
    3. I literally don’t give a shit.
    1. Yes..it’s just LONDON y’know? Like, living here is so HECTIC because it’s LONDON!
    2. No.
    3. Yes but I actually am busy with lots of proper things.

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Remee Patel is a senior editor for BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
 
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