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21 Funny Tweets About Dating That Are Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

"Someday you'll meet someone amazing who just gets you. And they won't want to date you either."

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WOMAN: guys suck GUY: ugh I know right? guys are the worst. except me haha. i am good and nice. can you send me pics of ur feet?


{first date} Him: You look tense Me: I'm so nervous Him: Aw. Just be you Me: IVE BEEN HOLDING IN A FART THAT MIGHT LAUNCH ME TO CANADA


I just want someone who looks at me the way my brother looks at ketchup


Dating Tip: Treat your date to something non-traditional. Go to the park and yell at some birds, maybe dig a cool hole


"I just want a guy that makes me laugh" *makes her laugh* "Not you."


Impress your date by calling the waiter a “fucking coward” when he warns you that your plate is extremely hot.


Issaurinko / Getty Images / Twitter: @envydatropic


(my date twirling her hair) "Can I use your bathroom quick?" Absolutely, gorgeous. *hears the longest fart ever as she closes the door*


Her: you ok? Me: just nervous, I don't date much Her: you're doing fine [I go to take a drink, but It's the candle & I set my face on fire]


Someday you'll meet someone amazing who just gets you. And they won't want to date you either


[Frantically plunging the toilet at a girl's house] "You ok in there?" Fine "Are you sure? What's that noise?" *climbing out the window* IDK


When u over his crib and he put on Netflix and ask why u sitting so far away from him


Dick pics are the human equivalent of a cat giving you a dead bird as a "gift"


Men complimenting women 1950 - "my dear you look so beautiful today" 2015 - "damn girl you look hot af" [3 heart eye and 5 fire emojis]


date:..and so after mom died my brother and i raised ourselves m: do you ever pretend youre an agent of shield i do


[me as a DJ] Where my single ladies at? *drunk responses* This one's for you *turns off music, serious tone* This is a bad place to meet men


Fuse / Getty Images / Twitter: @KevinFarzad


your dating profile: i LOVE adventures me: sounds like i'd have to do stuff. next-->


Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them


you say potato, I say where is this relationship going


[introducing myself to new boyfriends parents] "Hi, I usually don't make it this far"