1. Can't believe some people have never been to Nando's.
2. When someone says "Let's go for a cheeky Nandos!" you ask no questions.
3. I'm gonna eat so much fucking chicken.
4. CHICKEN LICKEN LICKEN.
5. Fuck me, look at that bloody queue.
6. I'm not waiting for this.
7. I will totally wait for this.
8. YES I HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE.
9. Shut up and give me the bloody table number.
10. Oh great, we're downstairs.
11. There better be a till downstairs.
12. Nope, gotta go back up the stairs.
13. What's my table number?
14. I literally just had it.
15. Maybe if I say "downstairs" they'll know exactly where we are.
16. Fuck, what do I want to order?
17. Burger or half-chicken?
18. How many sides is too many sides?
19. Maybe I should try something new.
20. No, do not be tempted by those wanton wings.
21. THE OPTIONS ARE ENDLESS.
22. Same as usual then.
23. What's this guy ordering?
24. PLAIN? GET SOME TASTEBUDS MATE.
25. Do not look at the olives, it's a trap.
26. Why are they always trying to force the olives?
27. What's wrong with the olives?
28. Should I get wine? They have wine now.
29. Fuck it I'll get wine and a glass for tap water.
30. Then actually fill it with Sprite because I'm a rebel who cannot be tamed.
31. Where's my loyalty card?
32 I don't have my loyalty card, fuck, I don't have my loyalty card.
33. I WOULD HAVE GOT A FREE HALF-CHICKEN.
34. Gutted beyond belief.
35. When did Nando's get so expensive?
36. Maybe it's because I ordered every extra possible.
37. I mean, halloumi is a given, right?
38. Gotta get ALL the sauces.
39. And my Sprite.
41. Where's the Garlic Peri-Peri?
42. Who the fuck took all of the Garlic Peri - Peri?
43. Those people have three on their table, SELFISH BASTARDS.
44. Argh, gotta get cutlery too.
45. NOT ENOUGH HANDS.
46. They work us too hard for their chicken.
47. I should have got olives.
48. What does make Nando's so cheeky?
49. So fucking hungry.
50. God that hummus looks good.
51. Why didn't I get hummus?
52. Is that my food?
53. Not my food.
54. Is that my food?
55. Not my food
56. Is that my food?
57. Literally everyone else's food except mine.
58. NANDO'S WHY DO YOU HATE ME?
59. I HATE YOU NANDO'S.
60. IT'S HERE I AM SO SORRY FOR EVER DOUBTING YOU.
61. Damn it I should have ordered peri-salt.
62. And peri-naise.
63. What happens if I order it now? Will I have to pay for it?
64. Maybe they'll just forget about it.
65. Then I would have cheated them twice like a proper legend.
66. Why is he asking me how our meal is?
67. Isn't it obvious I'm in love with my food?
68. I need a refill, but I don't want to be the refill bitch.
69. Ugh, I know I shouldn't carry on but I just can't stop eating.
70. My mouth is full of fire but my heart is full of love.
71. Beautiful, beautiful agony.
72. I think a button has popped off my jeans.
73. Someone's just mentioned dessert.
74. It's like I've magically grown an extra stomach.
75. And an extra wallet.
76. Maybe if I order it they'll forget about it, just like the peri-naise.
77. Chocolate cheesecake or caramel cheesecake? More decisions.
78. Definitely none of this fro-yo rubbish.
79. Although it is unlimited...
80. I am so full I cannot breathe.
81. God, the guy is back, probably to ask how my dessert was.
82. I will literally fart from all the effort it will take to reply to him right now.
83. Oh, it's the extra bill, I've been rumbled.
84. Why did I order more? I could be home by now, having a nice poo.
85. Oh well, at least the Sprite was free.