23 Things That Happen On Every Girls' Night In
Bezzies, onesies, and food babies.
As soon as everyone arrives, the night will kick off with a hearty: "CHEERS LAYDEEZ!!"
Followed immediately by everyone devouring the delicious spread laid out by the hostess.
In between mouthfuls of delicious cheese and gulps of even more delicious wine, you'll catch up on each other's lives.
There is always someone in the group who brings a bottle of something fancier than £3.99 wine, the opening of which will get you all a little overexcited.
And even though you've all destroyed a massive cheeseboard and about five large packets of Kettle Chips, you'll insist you're ready to eat the main course.
Over screams of "OMG I LOVE FOOD SO MUCHHHHH", "MMMMMMMMM", and "NOM NOM NOM" you'll stuff your face with pizza.
Resulting in the next half hour spent complaining you're too full, comparing food babies, and praying for the sweet release of a nice poo.
To help alleviate the pain caused by pizza and your restrictive waistbands, you'll change into your PJs and onesies.
And now that you're more comfortable you'll indulge in a bit of beauty therapy and take lots of selfies because face masks are LOL.
While you wait for your masks to dry, someone will start talking about their personal problems.
Which is the cue to crack open the rest of the booze.
You'll then settle down to watch a movie, the choosing of which will take approximately A THOUSAND YEARS.
Even though you're all still mega full, the weakest link will open the chocolate and everyone will quickly follow suit.
And because you spent all of that time wisely picking a film you've all seen before, none of you actually watch the movie properly.
Instead, your attention will fall upon some magazines and you'll take turns to read the most interesting bits out loud to the group.
Most of which will be ridiculous sex tips, prompting a group discussion about who is the most adventurous in bed.
After you've established who's the freakiest of the group, the topic will turn to how gross/hairy/spotty/lazy you all are.
And with the food finally settling, you'll start the more physical aspect of the evening.
After about 1,000 failed attempts at twerking, you'll all suddenly feel pooped and retire, feeling extremely satisfied that you'll be in bed by midnight.
Waking up to, yes, more food.
And when you say goodbye, five pounds heavier but ten times happier, you'll already start planning the next time you'll get together.
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