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Can We Guess Your Karaoke Song?

Take my hand, we'll make it I swear.

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  1. This person wallowing in her suspenseful sadness
    This person wallowing in her suspenseful sadness
    This smoldering starlet
    This smoldering starlet
    This dude sandwiched between some honeyz
    This dude sandwiched between some honeyz
    This person ready to get cray cray
    This person ready to get cray cray
    This drunk person butting in on someone else's song
    This drunk person butting in on someone else's song
    This person who is being blown away by their own amazingness
    This person who is being blown away by their own amazingness
    This person with their top off for absolutely no reason
    This person with their top off for absolutely no reason
    This person taking a dump mid song
    This person taking a dump mid song
    This person who is about to break into a very awful dance routine
    This person who is about to break into a very awful dance routine
  2. A shot
    A shot
    Headphones so you can hear yourself hitting that high note
    Headphones so you can hear yourself hitting that high note
    Phone so you can take a selfie mid song
    Phone so you can take a selfie mid song
    A buddy
    A buddy
    A microphone stand you can straddle sexually
    A microphone stand you can straddle sexually
    Some bling bling
    Some bling bling
    A spotlight
    A spotlight
    A rockin' guitar
    A rockin' guitar
    A black feather boa and a persian cat
    A black feather boa and a persian cat

Can We Guess Your Karaoke Song?

You got: "Livin' on a Prayer"

You love nothing better than to scream this song at the top of your lungs whilst jumping up and down like an absolute nutter. Your voice is always completely screwed towards the end of the night which is probably a good thing, because you're always drunkenly butting in on everyone's fucking song.

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You got: "Baby One More Time"

You love being playful plus you can't sing for shit, so Britney's 90s classic is totally your karaoke vibe! You're often found slurring "ohh baaybeh baaaybeh" whilst attempting some very ambitious gymnastics though, so I would be careful if I were you, you're probably violating some very serious health and safety codes.

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You got: "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

You enjoy dramatic hand gestures, yelling at people to "turn around" and being swatted at like an annoying fly, so there's nothing more appropriate, really. Sometimes you like you finish with a single tear falling softly on your right cheek whilst you turn to face an imaginary camera for your close up.

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You got: "Gold Digger"

Let's be honest, you fancy yourself a bit of a cool cat, so you like to show off your many talents with a lyrically ambitious rap song. You may be smooth like Jamie Foxx but you fuck the words up half the time, not that anyone ever notices, you're all absolutely wasted on PATRON amirite?!

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You got: "Sex on Fire"

Karaoke brings our your inner sex beast, and your inner sex beast only has one song. THIS SONG. Their sex is on fire, your loins are on fire, it's all just very sensually sensual. Just try not to dry hump everything like you always do, no one likes that, no, not even Mark from accounts.

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You got: "9 to 5"

You love this song because it's better to pretend you're Dolly Parton than to face the stark reality that you hate your bloody job.You'd rather just get pissed, put on a dodgy accent and forget about how your boss is a complete wankstain of a human being.

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You got: "Bohemian Rhapsody"

You're all about going absolutely cray and nothing quite gets you excited like this Queen classic. You always rope in mates to help you though, this is a fucking ensemble after all, and it's gonna be absolutely EPIC (to you, everyone else in the place will probably hate you for butchering one of the best songs of all time).

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You got: "Say My Name"

You're all about being sassy as fuck and you've dreamt about being one of the rotating members of DC since you can remember. You'll happy accept backup members to assist you while you're being Bey, as long as they're consistent...

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You got: "I Will Always Love You"

You're such a diva you don't even notice the people cringing around you, wondering why you would pick the hardest ballad of all time when you're at a late night karaoke bar behind a chicken shop in China town. You could give zero fucks really, this is all about YOU and you need to shine like the star you are.

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