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18 Tweets You'll Relate To If You Didn't Get Your Shit Together In 2016

There's always next year...

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1.

9am: im so tired 12pm: im so tired 3pm: im so tired 6pm: im so tired 9pm: [someone] why dont u just go to bed now? me: lol what like a loser

2.

Me: no more shots man I'm fucked up Me to me: didn't know you was a bitch

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3.

At least the tears I'm crying about paying $14 for this drink are landing in said drink so it will last longer.

4.

my role models are the type of people who eat pieces of bread in their beds late at night

5.

6.

7.

[burglar gently waking me] you live like this?

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8.

I'm doing life just like everyone else, 1 screw up after another and a trash can full of empty wine bottles

9.

me, without money: money is the root of all evil. the things u own end up owning u me, with money: ya can i get 20 mcchickens

10.

Stages of dieting 1. Read about new diet 2. Spend $300 on vegetables 3. Commit publicly to diet on FB 4. Dive head first into plate of bacon

11.

The stages of eating pizza 1) I ate way too much 2) This hurts. Why am I still eating? 3) One more bite & I’ll die 4) Just 3 more slices

12.

My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings: 1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking

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13.

*Wipes phone on boob* -Blocks 5 people -Unfollows 3 -Sends 2 randoms nudes -Orders a pizza -Texts 'I miss you' to the ex

14.

Boss: mike Boss: Mike Boss: Mike Ginn Me: whaaa sorry was just... doing an email

15.

[introducing myself to new boyfriends parents] "Hi, I usually don't make it this far"

16.

I'm smart but not "know when to stop eating" smart.

17.

sure all my friends are getting married and starting families but at least i'm slowly dying inside

18.

remembering a responsibility u forgot about

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