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This Is What Happens When You Send Yo Yo Honey Singh Lyrics To Dudes On Tinder

Sincerest apologies to all single and straight Mumbai men within a 100 mile radius of me.

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For the uninitiated and blessedly ignorant, Tinder is an app that allows you to meet single people in your area, and – if you discover any mutual attractions – engage them in riveting conversation.

The Chive / Via thechive.com

Due to the combined effects of my masochism and a slow news day, I decided to create a Tinder account and troll every man who indicated any interest in me by sending them Honey Singh lyrics.

Via calcuttastreets.tumblr.com

Shout-out to my coworker Nirali for being a veritable expert on Yo Yo's body of poetic work, and for agreeing to aid in this harebrained scheme.

Predictably, there was some confusion.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

And, unsurprisingly, there were hints of of skepticism.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

But, for the most part, Honey Singh was much less of a cock-block than I expected.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

Some recognized the game I was playing and happily played along.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

Not to be outdone, this champion decided to freestyle rap a verse of his own.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

Another overachiever, this gentleman saw my nonsense speak as a challenge to be even less coherent.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

In fact, some men even opened up to Yo Yo / me. Like this man who may or may not have confessed to alcoholism.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

And some got cozy. Like this guy, who invited himself over for some casual adventure sports.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

This dude probably skipped lunch and was craving cookies and Peppy.

But seriously, mad props for that opening line – very refreshing after the deluge of "wzup baby" and "hiee."
Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

But seriously, mad props for that opening line – very refreshing after the deluge of "wzup baby" and "hiee."

I found this well-mannered bloke who had something nice to say despite my word vom.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

And I found this Sherlock Holmes / Inspector Daya.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

I found a non-drug-user who was astonishingly unfazed by my "smoke me up" opener.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

And I found this supportive but eventually disinterested non-hip-hop fan.

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

Of course, I found one maybe-possibly-coulda-been-woulda-been stalker. *Unmatch*

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

But my favourite of all the very wonderful and eligible bachelors I swiped right to was this man, who knew to GTFO ASAP when faced with an idiot (me).

Via Rega Jha / BuzzFeed

All in all, I learned that Bombay's single straight male population is kind, accepting, and mostly non-creepy, even to ostensible lunatics.

And then I deleted my account and the app itself. So carry on mingling, dudes! You're safe... For now.