Hey Apple, I've had an iPhone for years and I love it. There's no doubt that you've changed the world.
I love your iPhones despite their overenthusiastic autocorrect...
And despite Siri's insistence on being just friends.
Heck, I can even deal with the occasional unexpected front cam...
And I stuck by you despite that U2 album showing up and taking up my storage space.
But there's something we really, really need to discuss.
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH YOUR CHARGERS?
WHY ARE THEY BUILT TO LAST EXACTLY FIVE SECONDS BEFORE UNRAVELLING?
How is it that you've revolutionised the music industry and invented the best user interface of all time and YET CAN'T MAKE ONE HALFWAY DECENT CHARGER?
I refuse to believe that your team of geniuses can't come up with a solution to this GODDAMN NONSENSE.
:incomprehensible rage sounds:
Check your Twitter mentions, Tim Cook.
Do you WANT all your customers to die of electrical shocks?
DOES THIS LOOK FUN TO YOU?
Apple, please. You can do better than this and you know it.
There's no need for us to keep living like this.
We shouldn't have to resort to this!
You've changed the world before, Apple, and you can do it again.