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26 Questions That Will Enrage Anyone With Curly Hair

"Can I touch it?" Sure, if I can touch your face after. IN SLAP FORM.

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3. "Wouldn't your life be sooo much easier if you fixed it?"

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"Fixed" it? "FIXED" IT? Have you considered FIXING your blatant disregard for how your words impact other people? *Angry Emoji*


5. "Aren't there products you can use to make it less... You know?"


Do you know of any products that can retroactively change my genetic make-up? No? Well then, let's spend our free time working on changing your assumptions about my hair and my choices.

6. "Have you thought about getting bangs?"

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Yes, it was a dark phase in my life and we will never speak of it again AND NO THERE ARE NO PICTURES PLEASE DON'T LOOK THROUGH MY FACEBOOK.


8. "OMG how is your hair LITERALLY eeeeverywhere?" -Everyone you date/live with.

As Marilyn Monroe famously said*: If you can't deal with my hairballs, you don't deserve me at my best.

*This is unconfirmed and entirely made up BUT STILL TRUE.


10. "How do you manage with so much frizz?"

It's a secret recipe that's been passed down through several generations of my family. One part patience, two parts fabulousness, ten parts IGNORING IDIOTS LIKE YOU.

11. "Has your hair always been like this?"

Yes, I didn't just get hit by lightning one day and come out of it looking deranged. Please peruse my #ThrowbackThursdays at risk of your own sanity.


17. "Wait, you don't own a hairbrush?"

Esther Dyson / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: edyson

No, I don't make a habit of buying expensive things just to break them using my body.


19. "Do you curl it every morning before you leave home?"

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No, I kinda just... Accept my fate. Do you shed IQ points and practice being pesky every morning before you leave home?

21. "If I put something in your hair, would it just stay there all day?"

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As proven by my middle school bullies and tormentors, yes. Please, by all means use my head as a storage space for your knick-knacks. No matter that you're triggering years of adolescent insecurity and self-consciousness. NOT A BIG DEAL AT ALL. *Bursts into tears*

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