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13 Friends Every Mumbai Twentysomething Has

And then there's you.

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1. The aspiring actor a.k.a. current model.

Yash Raj Films

Defining Traits: Crazy hot, moved to Bombay to break into Bollywood, has appeared in an embarrassing ad, spends their free time hanging out in the Bandra Gold's Gym and Lokhandwala cafés hoping to be noticed by scouts.

You're Friends Because: Being around this person is a good reminder of how to hustle and dream big, no matter how hard it can get.

Catchphrase: "OK, you won't BELIEVE what happened at this audition."

2. The townie. #SoBo4Lyf

All India Bakchod

Defining Traits: Born and raised south of the Sea Link, irrationally proud of their address, refuses to acknowledge that anything exists north of Worli.

You're Friends Because: Despite their pretensions, they mean well. (And their house is super nice, OK?)

Catchphrase: "Arrey you guys, come here naaaa, it's so much nicer."


3. The person who acts like a townie but isn't.

Defining Traits: Parties exclusively in Lower Parel and Colaba, knows every mill compound like the back of their hand... Lives in Andheri.

You're Friends Because: Their inimitable knowledge of South Bombay is actually super useful, and nobody can fault them for having Malabar Hill dreams, right?

Catchphrase: "Bandra is so boring guys, let's go to [insert the week's newest horrifically-crowded Lower Parel bar] na?"

4. The pothead.

Defining Traits: Literally the chillest human being you've ever met in your life, probably incapable of experiencing stress, makes shady solo excursions to Yari Road occasionally to meet their dealer.

You're Friends Because: Some of the best conversations you've ever had have been over a doob with this pal.

Catchphrase: "Bro, I just scored this INSANE maal, you HAVE to try it."

5. The hyper-social butterfly.

Defining Traits: Literally knows everybody though it's unclear how they know any of these people, can't go anywhere without running into a friend, always has plans and manages to go to all of them.

You're Friends Because: Hey, there's a reason they have so many – they're friendly and likeable and fun! Besides, the party is usually wherever they're at.

Catchphrase: "Chal guys, I'm gonna bounce, I have a friend's birthday to go to."

6. The one with the chill apartment.

Dharma Productions

Defining Traits: Lives alone (or has a very chill family), their fridge is always stocked with beers, their apartment is located super conveniently for everyone in the world, and most importantly – they're always down to hang.

You're Friends Because: Their hospitality is amazing.

Catchphrase: "Come over na!"

7. The workaholic.

Excel Entertainment

Defining Traits: They work unreasonable hours and are therefore always late to your plans, and when they do show up they're in professional clothes and can only talk about how awful their boss is.

You're Friends Because: Their lifestyle is both an inspiration and a cautionary tale. Plus, they need you to drag them away from work and make sure they have a social life.

Catchphrase: "I'm stuck at office yaar."


8. The Bandra loyalist.

Defining Traits: Born in Lilavati, raised 5 minutes away. Had their first date at Candies, and their first kiss at Bandstand. Knows the Janata staff by name, considers both Andheri and Worli "too damn far ya". Suffers from PTSD from the one time they went to Borivali.

You're Friends Because: Bandra is pretty great and so are they.

Catchphrase: "Why would I leave?"

9. The one with all the right friends.


Defining Traits: On first-name basis with every bouncer and bartender in the city, goes out drinking more than anyone else you know, skips every line, never pays entry, and can sweet-talk anybody into doing anything.

You're Friends Because: Their friendliness is contagious and hopefully so is their liver strength and partying stamina.

Catchphrase: "Chal chal, we'll pakka get in."

10. The indie kid.

Defining Traits: Listens exclusively to musicians you haven't heard of, goes to open mics and exhibits that you didn't know existed, constantly complains about how mainstream NH7 Weekender is. (Their best friend is #4.)

You're Friends Because: They take you to places and shows that you'd never have gone to otherwise – they love their world and are excited to share it.

Catchphrase: "Fuck Honey Singh, man."

11. The one with the ginormous family.


Defining Traits: They have relatives scattered across every locale, weddings to go to once a month, and are afraid to do anything even remotely illicit in public in case a nosy aunt spots them and rats them out.

You're Friends Because: Their nani makes killer mutton, their uncle has a travel agency that sorts you out, and you get to crash the occasional hilarious family dinner.

Catchphrase: "I can't come tonight, I have a family thing."

12. The industry insider.

Phantom Films

Defining Traits: Works in PR, production, celebrity management, or as an AD. Regularly uploads selfies with Bollywood B-listers. Has the weirdest working hours. Will drag you into 7-hour conversations about movies you haven't watched.

You're Friends Because: They got to where they are strictly via hard work, and that's awesome. Also: they indulge your guilty pleasure – gossip about who's doing what (and who's doing whom).

Catchphrase: "OK, so here's what really went down."

13. And the newbie.

Dharma Productions

Defining Traits: Moved to Bombay for work, is mind-blown by things that are totally normal to you (like the "beanbag" graffiti), is constantly learning things like what shoes to wear in the monsoon, when to take SV road vs. Juhu, and which Bollywood stars' homes double as landmarks.

You're Friends Because: Let's be honest. They need it.

Catchphrase: "Can someone give me directions?"


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