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29 Mistakes You Will Make At Least Once In Your Life

I mean... It's supposed to be a learning experience, right? RIGHT?

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9. Letting yourself believe that you have a thirteen year old boys' metabolism and neglecting your body.

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Lesson learned: Nothing tastes as good as fitting into your clothes feels. Your body is a temple. Play temple run.


13. Reading the Sparknotes of the classics instead of reading the classics.

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Lesson learned: There's only so long you can get away with pretending to have read books you haven't read before someone tells you you're pronouncing Karenina wrong.


17. Throwing out all the collectible relics of your childhood.

Lesson learned: Aside from their sentimental value, useless junk has a way of becoming very valuable eventually. Sorry that your Dragon Ball Z cards would've made you a millionaire. Sorry.

19. Subscribing to magazines because you think having them show up at your house will make you read.

Lesson learned: Nothing in the world will make you feel stupider than seeing piles of The Economist sitting unread while you read Cosmo without pants on.


20. Getting drunk, thinking you're a superhero, and waking up with inexplicable bruises.

Lesson learned: Just because your inhibitions are gone doesn't mean that gravity is gone also. The cracked iPhone screen is a free bonus.

22. Starting a drastic and unrealistic diet/cleanse with unwavering resolve to lose twenty pounds.

Lesson learned: Consuming nothing but kale juice for a week will make you then eat nothing but Taco Bell for a year.


24. Trying to exploit online services by signing up for every free trial that is offered to you.

Lesson learned: Nobody tells you when your free trial expires and turns into a paid subscription. And that is why you are poor.

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