1. The educational.
2. The short and to the point.
3. The one that welcomes you to the universe.
4. The persistent.
5. The mathematically sound.
6. The one with exactly six actual English words in it.
7. The one that “promices” true friendship.
8. The multilingual music expert who just wants a “chanse.”
9. The well-mannered one that says “please” a lot.
Or “plz,” at the very least.
10. The one that attempts to demonstrate appropriate usage of the Oxford comma.
12. The poetic.
13. The one genuinely concerned about “wt hpnd u.”
14. The one who hasn’t ever met you but still believes you smell like rain. Sweet.
15. The “James” who thinks his name is “JOHN.”
16. The fashion-savvy.
17. The “Candy” who thinks his name is “Sandy,” but that’s the least of his problems…
18. And finally, the vaguely remorseful.
- A Cincinnati zoo is defending its decision to kill a gorilla after a boy fell into an exhibit.
- Former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder said Edward Snowden performed a "public service" leaking surveillance secrets.
- Seventeen people died in a fire at a makeshift nursing home near Ukraine's capital Kiev on Sunday.