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17 Recent Indian News Headlines That Sounded Like April Fools Jokes... But Weren't

You. Won't. Believe. What. Happens. Next. (We're doomed.)

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Idk if you've noticed but every April 1st, the internet gets transformed into a wasteland of horrible jokes.

And every publication, even the serious ones, pitches in with their own fabricated LOLfests.

But this being #IncredibleIndia, we don't limit our barely-believable headlines to one day of the year.

Anurag Kashyap Films / Via bollypop.in

A few examples JUUUUST from the last 3 months –

1. "Hindu women must have at least four children, says BJP's Sakshi Maharaj."

Aamir Khan Productions

Hahahahahaha good one! Wait.

2. "After Sakshi Maharaj, Bengal BJP leader says Hindus should have five children."

Eros International

A callback! Nice! :(

3. "Karnataka politician honours two donkeys for loyalty."

Vinod Chopra Productions

4. "The Hindu Mahasabha rejected statues of Gandhi’s assassin for looking too chubby."

5. "Minister believes Shivaji statue will cut down on crime in Mumbai."

UTV Motion Pictures

6. "Valentine's Day renamed as Matru-Pitru Diwas."

Vinay Productions

7. "'Yoga will bring down rapes', claims BJP veteran Murli Manohar Joshi."

Shree Ashtavinayak Cine Vision

8. "Ban online content offending religious sensibilities, government tells Supreme Court."

Yashraj

No, that can't be... Oh, fuck.

9. "Hindu Mahasabha to marry off couples out on Valentine's Day."

Red Chillies Entertainment

10. "A panchayat in Rajasthan has ordered that a rape survivor’s nose be cut off."

11. "The Indian censor board muted the word "lesbian" in a movie."

Subodh Mukherji Productions

12. "Goa’s government contemplates making LGBT youths “normal” by setting up treatment centres."

Colours TV

13. "A lot of people blamed Anushka Sharma for India's defeat in the Cricket World Cup."

14. "If you’re Indian and you say “I Love You” to someone on Facebook, you may be forced to marry them."

15. "Panchayat in Bihar offers victim Rs.31,000 to forget rape."

16. "Leave Delhi: That’s what doctors are prescribing to patients with serious respiratory ailments."

17. "Narendra Modi has given 70,000 people in Delhi what they needed most: selfies with him."

So, uh. Happy "just another day of being baffled by the world you live in" day!