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    7 Apr 2016

    My Fellow Indians, I'm Sorry To Break This News: Our Prime Minister Has A Mullet

    Modi ji. I love you. But we need to talk.

    It's widely acknowledged that our honourable Prime Minister Narendra Damodardas Modi Ji Sir is a goddamn stud.

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    For instance, in the GIF above, he's sporting a suit with his own name pinstriped onto it. WHAT A GUY.

    His sartorial decisions have ALWAYS been on-point, as has his grooming and personal style. Mmmmmmmhm.

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    You've really gotta admire a man who really admires himself.

    But lately... I hate to say this... Please don't send me death threats... Lately, his hair has been... I mean...

    Alex Wong / Getty Images

    Sir, is that a...

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    Guys, I swear I love my country. I'm not anti-national. I stand up for the national anthem even when I'm alone in my house. But...

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    I've been wondering for days AND NOW, MODI JI, I AM SORRY BUT I HAVE TO ASK.

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    SIR, IS THAT A MULLET?

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    *Applies for anticipatory bail*

    Me IRL:

    Pool / Getty Images

    Reader, here's a quick history lesson. Observe, if you will, the three photographs below, all taken in November of 2015.

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    Here's the tragically irrelevant Jay Sean admiring the back of Modi Ji's exposed neck on November 13, 2015.

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    Here's another dude marvelling at Modi Ji's non-mulletted neck-back, also in November, 2015.

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    And this is Modi Ji meeting a fellow world leader on December 24, 2015, still gloriously un-mulleted.

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    BUT THEN. FAST FORWARD TO MARCH OF 2016.

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    AND SUDDENLY WE ARE A NATION WITH A MULLET AT OUR HELM.

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    SIR, YOU'VE GOTTA UNDERSTAND. NOT ALL DEVELOPMENT IS GOOD DEVELOPMENT.

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    AND THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT WE SHOULDN'T MAKE IN INDIA.

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    (We shouldn't make mullets in India.)

    (Also, jokes about 2002.)

    Modi ji, I love you. I have always loved you. My mom is starting to worry that I'll die unwed because I'll always love you and only you. But this mullet situation made even ME take a step back.

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    Thank you for your time, reader. Say it with me: #NoMoreModiMullet2k16

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