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What Your Couch Formation Says About How You Watch Basketball

The only way you really need to set up your basketball-watching experience is with Reese's and Coke Zero. Make sure to pick them up at Target.

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1. The "He's Not With Us" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "Everyone is welcome to watch the games with me, except for Derrick. He needs to sit over there."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "Everyone is welcome to watch the games with me, except for Derrick. He needs to sit over there."

2. The "Mixed Emotions" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "Two of us are going to be a nervous wreck, but one of us is going to be sleepy."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "Two of us are going to be a nervous wreck, but one of us is going to be sleepy."

3. The "GET OUT" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "Karen talks too much during the games, so she needs to sit far, far away."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "Karen talks too much during the games, so she needs to sit far, far away."

4. The "Lone Wolf" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "I am very loud, so nobody wants to come over."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "I am very loud, so nobody wants to come over."

5. The "Why Are You Even Here?" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "Three of us care about this game — two of us do not."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "Three of us care about this game — two of us do not."

6. The "Nosebleed" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "My doctor told me to distance myself from my love of basketball, so I did. That's what he meant, right?"
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WHAT IT MEANS: "My doctor told me to distance myself from my love of basketball, so I did. That's what he meant, right?"

7. The "Conga Line" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "A lot of people are coming to watch the game, but I don't really know any of them."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "A lot of people are coming to watch the game, but I don't really know any of them."

8. The "Pillow on a Cold Hardwood Floor" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "We have children, so there is no time for basketball or sleep. Help."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "We have children, so there is no time for basketball or sleep. Help."

9. The "I Can't Watch" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "This stuff is too stressful. Just tell me when it's over."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "This stuff is too stressful. Just tell me when it's over."

10. The "Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "I have to fire someone, but the game is on."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "I have to fire someone, but the game is on."

11. The "Kale in Every Meal" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "Couches and basketball are all about expressing yourself. Don't do what everyone thinks you're going to do; do what is unthinkable, man."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "Couches and basketball are all about expressing yourself. Don't do what everyone thinks you're going to do; do what is unthinkable, man."

12. The "Welcome to the Future" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "I'm a millennial, ergo, television is meant to be streamed. Also, I can't afford couches."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "I'm a millennial, ergo, television is meant to be streamed. Also, I can't afford couches."

13. The "Smartest Human Alive" Formation:

WHAT IT MEANS: "I understand the art of watching sports better than anyone else on the planet."
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WHAT IT MEANS: "I understand the art of watching sports better than anyone else on the planet."

There's only one way to get the perfect basketball-watching experience:

By setting out some Reese's and Coke Zero for your guests. Make sure to pick them up at Target, and be the hero your party deserves.

By setting out some Reese's and Coke Zero for your guests. Make sure to pick them up at Target, and be the hero your party deserves.