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18 Chelsea Handler Quotes For When You Need A Sassy Comeback

Chelsea ~does~ what we wish we could.

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1. When you're not in the mood for anything, really.

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2. When you live by your own rules, which is all the time.

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"I very rarely pay attention to anything anybody tells me to do."

3. When people are being annoying.

4. When people are being stupid.

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5. When someone personally victimizes you with their annoying stupidity.

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6. When you're not getting a straight answer.

7. When you're sprucing up the "skills" portion of your resumé.

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"I don't like anything that involves work."

8. When people like your selfies more than your random artsy photos.

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9. When your friends start having kids.

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10. When you're at school or the bank or the doctor or anywhere important.

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11. When you're asked what you like to do in your spare time.

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12. When a friend tells you they're not drinking.

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"I love to drink. I don't understand people who don't drink. I don't want to talk to them."

13. When you share your interests.

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"I dislike so many things...and people."

14. When people keep checking in at the gym but you're not about that lifestyle.

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"I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever."

15. When you put soda in a water cup.

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"I don't pretend to live a legal lifestyle."

16. When your Facebook friends post 1,387 photos of their mediocre vacation.

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17. When people have the wrong impression of you.

18. When all else fails...

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...sometimes you just have to sip the tea.

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Or in Chelsea's case, vodka.

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