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13 Undeniable Truths Of Being A Dog Owner

Poo bags, dietary requirements and park snobbery, shit gets real.

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1. Your inner snob will come out when the weather is terrible.

On a rainy day you will almost certainly have a smug conversation with the only other person in the park about 'fair weather walkers.' And then you get home and feel a little less smug...

3. Compliments towards your dog make your heart implode.

Whether it's the collar that brings our the shine in their coat, their excellent posture or their joie de vivre, its probably a better feeling than when a kid draws you a picture.

4. Dietry talk is a thing.

From raw food, to swanky stuff made by someone with a double barreled name in a kitchen in West London, vegetarians questioning their morals about feeding their dog chum to anything purchased solely at a vet. It all matters. A LOT.

5. You start to become a double act. Like Turner and Hooch, but with less drool and hairline issues.

You will know every shop, pub and restaurant within a five mile radius that allows dogs. And then try and bully everyone you know into going to these places on loop.

6. You like to correct everyone who doesn't own a dog about dog stuff.

Aint nobody got time for the people that think all dogs get on. Dogs are basically like people, while you might love that little mutt from two doors down your dog may just want to bark in his face and show him some snaggle tooth every single day, for no reason. Much like your feelings towards that guy you work with.

7. Disney lied to us.

Walt Disney /

100 Dalmatians specifically, lied to us. See a hot dog owner, suddenly remember Pongo’s cupid work? WRONG, your dog will try and fight them/pee on them/steal their toy and you will skulk off broken hearted and ashamed.

8. Names of cute dogs are easy, names of people who talk about poo bags at 7am are hard.

Even if you see the same 3 people every morning for the entire duration that your dog is alive you will only know them as 'Gerald's owner.' Its the universal rule of park life.

9. Discussions about how you came to find your best mate get a little...heated.

You will have so many opinions about the breeder V rescue debate, that you could, and probably will, talk about it more than you like to admit.

10. You consider everything they do to be awesome and you will disagree with anyone who thinks otherwise.

Bit humpy? He's passionate. Steals food from your plate right in front of you? Just a hound with sophisticated palette.Pees on your gate every damn morning? It's called protecting our territory. Crazed barking at your new bae? Yeah you should probably trust your pooches instinct.

12. You stop being that person that obsessively baby talks other peoples animals.


You learn that having a dog is a lot like having a child. In that, once you get one, you instantly care a lot less about other peoples because you know yours is superior. Plus most dogs just throw some shade when you get too soppy.

13. Only you are allowed to moan about your pooch.


You will grumble light heartedly about the snoring, grooming, food theft, vet bills and farting but you know that your BFF is probably the greatest thing alive and napping just wouldn't be the same without them.