1. It is a big day.
2. Jeremy Corbyn is leaving his house.
3. Luckily, two photographers are on the scene.
4. In a shock move, he closes the door.
5. Pandering to his constituents, he begins to cross the garden.
6. He parts his lips suggestively as he approaches the garden's edge.
7. Will he cross the precipice?
8. Yes. Yes, he will. Classic North Islington elite.
9. Flaunting his pins in his slouchy signature trousers, he acquires a potentially scandalous stack of socialist literature.
10. What could this mean?
11. Does it mean he's changed his mind about pushing the red button?
12. He smiles a small smile. We may never know.
13. Proceeding down the street, the hard-left leader pours his curves into a daring brown jacket – leaving some things to the imagination – as he gives a metal shutter a taste of his famous side-eye.
14. He continues to place one foot in front of the other, propelling him forward as he flashes his bare fingers with little mind of onlookers.
15. In a climactic moment, he again parts his lips.
16. At last he reaches his car and the photos stop, leaving us to imagine what shocking activities are about to happen next.
