1. You know toast is for throwing. NOT EATING.
2. You did the walk-of-shame along Locust.
3. You always wanted to have sex under the button,
4. You transferred out of your Math / Science class / Engineering degree when you figured out where DRL was.
5. You never correct people when they ask you about Penn State football because they obviously aren’t worth your time.
But you also secretly wish you went to a school where sports was actually a thing.
6. Meeting at the “bloody tampons” was totally normal.
7. The drunkest day of your college career involved taking large bites out of styrofoam hats and hitting people with canes.
8. You or someone you know was mugged somewhere between 40th and 41st street.
9. You have a diploma from Smokes/Mr. Ryan that you proudly display in your office.
10. You know all about Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Passover, Shavuot, Sukkot and Purim…
even if you’re not Jewish!
11. You frequently used bursar as a verb.
12. You don’t have a drug problem, but you’re likely to loudly sing “heroin heroin it’s the only way”
13. You pretended to be mad when you were made fun of in Cultural Elite, but secretly, you were thrilled.
14. Your proudest accomplishment was getting your “shoutouts” published in 34th Street.
15. You use “fling” and “flung” as adjectives, adverbs, verbs and nouns.
16. A “downtown” was a type of party, not a city region.
17. You never saved your quarters for laundry, only Sink or Swim.
18. You know not to sit and take pictures next to the Ben Franklin statue
19. You feel sorry for anyone who didn’t attend a “party ivy” (and therefore love college as much as you did)
- A UFC fighter is asking people to crush apples with their bare hands 💪