3. Your Alcohol Tolerance Becomes Nearly Nonexistent
4. When You Do Drink, It’s only on Fridays
Your Weekly Drinking Schedule:
Monday - Nope
Tuesday - Nada
Wednesday - Maybe?
Thursday - Yoga or something grown up.
Friday - Blackout
Saturday - Sunday - Recover.
If you don’t believe me, check them out. Sugar makes you fat.
8. You Have To Pretend to be Excited at Weddings and Baby Showers
11. Then You’ll Realize Your College Pickup Lines No Longer Work
12. Friends Will Force You to Go on Dates Even Though You Know It Won’t Work
13. So You’ll Freaking Join an Online Dating Site
19. You’ll Probably Get a Puppy and It Will Be Pretty Awesome For 2 Months
But then it will Grow Up and be an Idiot
20. Or You’ll Just Get a Cat to Kill the Loneliness
And Sometimes It Will Get On Your Nerves …
- Sean Spicer said "his intention is never to lie" as White House press secretary, after making false claims this weekend about Trump's inauguration.
- President Trump signed an executive order that bans foreign organizations that receive US funding from providing abortions.
- Democratic lawmakers say Trump's new hotel in Washington, DC, has lost over $1 million and violates its lease with the government.
- The all-day breakfast boom at McDonald's is over as sales fall for the fast food giant 🍳 📉