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    32 Awesomely Crappy Events That Happen To Nearly Every College Graduate

    Graduating college can be a scary time, which is why you have to be ready for anything that can happen.

    1. You'll Probably Start By Moving to a New City

    2. Then You'll Realize a Salary Position is More Important than Your Dreams

    3. Your Alcohol Tolerance Becomes Nearly Nonexistent

    4. When You Do Drink, It's only on Fridays

    5. You'll Get Fat From a Desk Job, But Will Still Believe In Your Athletic Abilities.

    6. So You'll Quit Fast Foods and Go on a Diet

    Even Cut Out Eating Sugars, Even in Fruits

    7. And Eventually Quit the Diet and Go Back to Fast Foods

    8. You Have To Pretend to be Excited at Weddings and Baby Showers

    9. You'll Fight Your Family Over the Fact You Haven't Been to Church in 5 Years

    10. . . . They'll Also Remind You that You Aren't Married

    11. Then You'll Realize Your College Pickup Lines No Longer Work

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    12. Friends Will Force You to Go on Dates Even Though You Know It Won't Work

    13. So You'll Freaking Join an Online Dating Site

    14. You'll Still Have Nightmares About Missing Exams or Homework

    15. Eventually You'll Get a Job and Get Your First Paycheck

    16. And You'll Buy Your First Car . . .

    17. Then You'll Get Your First Student Loan Bill

    18. And You'll Feel Like This Every Payday

    19. You'll Probably Get a Puppy and It Will Be Pretty Awesome For 2 Months

    But then it will Grow Up and be an Idiot

    20. Or You'll Just Get a Cat to Kill the Loneliness

    21. You'll Become Annoyed By Friends Staying Over for the Weekend

    22. Navigating Your Alma Mater Will Feel Like This

    And You Feel Like Saying this to Everyone at Your Alma Mater

    23. Eventually All Your Friends Will Get Married

    And Sometimes It Will Get On Your Nerves . . .

    24. But Then You'll Realize Not Being Married or Having Kids Isn't That Bad

    25. At One Point You'll Get Some Hobbies

    26. And You'll Go To Clubs By Yourself

    But Then You Get Used to It.

    27. House Music and Trance Will Sound Crappy

    28. Your Own Toilet Will Become Your Sanctuary

    29. And You'll Feel Like This On Your Own Bed

    30. Monday Mornings Won't Be Like They Were in College

    31. But This is How You'll Feel Waiting for 5PM

    32. At One Point, The Real World Will Make You Want to Go Back