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9 Times Disney Lulled You Into A False Sense Of Security And Then Slapped You Across The Face

I did NOT sign up for this s**t!

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1. When Boys Turned Into Donkeys on Pleasure Island — Pinocchio (1940)


Your Reaction: Whoa, this is a little intense, but they're not actually going to be sent to the salt mines, right? They're totally gonna be saved by the Blue Fairy, right? Right? ... Oh my God she's not coming.

2. When Frollo Sang a Song About Wanting to Bone Esmeralda — The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)


Your Reaction: Hold on a second. This guy is old and creepy. What happened to the charming, gentle hunchback? I thought this was an Ugly Duckling story, not a Hugh Hefner biopic.

3. When Mufasa...Well, You Know — The Lion King (1994)


Your Reaction: Haha, OK Mufasa, very funny, you can get up now. Clever Disney, trying to break my heart and then pulling the bait-and-switch-he's-okay move. Well done. Uh hey, Mufasa? I said you can get up now...


5. When Bambi's mother died — Bambi (1942)


Your Reaction: Are you freakin' KIDDING me?! I'm sitting here watching a beautiful film about nature and bunnies and somebody just got SHOT?! Jeez, nothing is safe.

6. When Clayton Sliced Off The Wrong Vines — Tarzan (1999)


Your Reaction: OK, this movie did a marginally better job of preparing me for some seriously awful shit to go down. But seriously? You really had to go there? I wasn't ready. I WAS NOT READY.

8. When Dumbo's Mother Got Locked Up — Dumbo (1941)


Your Reaction: No. This is bullshit. I am here to watch a happy film about an adorable elephant with massive ears, and you are giving me cruelty, humiliation, and sadness. Who are you people?!

9. When Mowgli Did This Stupid, Stupid Thing — The Jungle Book (1967)


Your Reaction: So let me get this straight. The thing he wanted the whole movie — to be awesome and live in the jungle with his amazing animal friends — was trumped by seeing a hot chick? Didn't anyone tell this kid about bros before hoes? Disney, why would you let me get attached to any of these characters if they were just gonna be ditched at the end of the movie, I mean how sadistic can you— y'know what, I'm outta here.

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