1. You used to jump in puddles...
...now puddles jump on you
2. The joys of autumn's leaf piles...
...became the noise of autumn's landscapers
3. Blowing dandelions in the wind...
...became endless weeding and back pain
4. Snow fell from the heavens...
...now you do
5. The infinite wonders of bologna...
...were replaced with fears about its infinite ingredients
6. Roller coasters, once such a thrill...
...now make you wish you'd never been born
7. You ran to dolls for comfort...
...now you run from them in fear
8. Swings provided tons of fun...
...but now cause tons of pain
9. Trains that once sparked your imagination...
...are now where dreams go to die
10. Saturday mornings were such a reward...
...but now...well, this
11. Roller skating with pals was the best...
...but doing it as a grown up just isn't
12. When someone called you'd chat for hours...
...but now you're annoyed if they call at all
13. As a child, you were fascinated by all types of bugs...
...but the slightest mention now causes this
14. Birthdays were a special day...
...and now you hope people forget
15. Toy stores were the most magical of places...ever...
...now this happens
16. You'd play in the mud without hesitating...
...but now get skeeved out by pretty much everything
17. But you always did hate clowns...
...and hate them even more now
Thankfully, some things never change

