Women Are Revealing Things That Consistently Leave Them Feeling Disappointed — Yet They Still Keep Trying

"I have social anxiety, and it’s tough to take the first step. It's even worse when no one seems to care."

No matter how much we try, there are just some things in life that will consistently leave us feeling disappointed. And since having these experiences can oftentimes feel lonely, I thought it would be important to share the answers from Reddit user u/Jumpy_Ad_4583's thread, where they asked the r/AskWomen community, "What consistently leaves you disappointed...but you just keep trying?" Here are not only the responses but also some advice that others left in return.

1. "Reaching out for friends. Before I deleted Facebook, no one would like or reply to any of my posts. I have social anxiety, and it’s tough to take the first step. But it sucks even more when no one seems to care."

Dmitry Marchenko / Getty Images/EyeEm

—u/SumrFrankenstein

Response #1: "I completely relate. It feels like I’m the only one who ‘initiates’ any contact or plans. I’m trying to find some new ways to meet new people, but it’s intimidating."

—u/iceicemilkshake

Response #2: "Feel this 100%. But I have given up on friendships. I think I have lost the desire, so it doesn't really bother me anymore. I have learned to be satisfied with being a loner. The only time it really bothers me is when I see my kid also kind of keep to herself. She's an introvert like me. Social anxiety is crippling, but the only time I really have to face it is during those occasional unavoidable events like weddings or birthday parties, where I have to pretend to socialize normally with others. My skin crawls the entire time. Otherwise, I adjust my life to avoid social situations."

—u/0th3rw0rldli3

Response #3: "Making friends in childhood was easy AF: 'You want chocolate? Here it is,' and bam, we're friends forever."

—u/drunk_aristotle

Advice: "I’m sorry that you feel nobody cares. That feeling can be so lonely. I bet you’re a great person; you probably just haven’t met the right friends. Keep smiling and keep trying!!!"

—u/dontworry19

2. "Dating apps. It’s a download, entertain, and delete process. Usually within 24 hours. Someday I’ll learn."

Luis Alvarez / Getty Images

—u/neuro_illogical

Response #1: "I relate to this so hard, but then I met my partner on Hinge! Just took a long-ass time to meet the one."

—u/catsgelatowinepizza

Response #2: "Yes! Eventually I get so many messages and likes (I’m not boasting; I think a lot of women have similar experiences) that I can’t keep track of who is who and make a connection that’s more meaningful or long-lasting."

—u/Critical_Serve_4528

Advice: "I feel like dating apps are often like working out. If you want results, you gotta be consistent, and you’ll only really see results over time. It can be a lot of work (and can seem like a chore), but it’s all about mindset."

—u/panda_burrr

3. "Bangs."

Ivan-balvan / Getty Images/iStockphoto

—u/Pinotnoirroseannebar

Response #1: "I’ve had bangs since I was a kid, and I’ve gone through the process of growing them out completely three times now, only to hate them and cut them again."

—u/Guineacabra

Response #2: "I’m just growing out my last set of bangs. Hopefully, this time I’ll learn."

—u/fleetwood_mag

Advice: "The question that everyone should ask themselves before trying that is, 'Am I mentally stable enough to get bangs?'

"The curly bits of hair on the corners of foreheads have been the downfall for many."

—u/MyLife-is-a-diceRoll

4. "My partner. Why don’t I just give up? He clearly doesn’t care about me the way I care about him."

Peopleimages / Getty Images/iStockphoto

—u/FluorineSuperfluous

Response #1: "Same. I’m married, though, with kids, so I guess I'll just deal with it until one of us dies. But it’s crushing to think he’s actually heard me this time or actually will work on his behavior this time — but then no.

"So now I just have to remind myself that this is the way it is. This is the way things are. Don’t waste time talking about it. Don’t give me hope that things will change. But friend, if you can leave, do so. If you don’t have kids, a mortgage, etc., holding you back, get out."

Advice #1:  "Without knowing much about your situation, I’m guessing that you might be stuck in the cycle of abuse and you hope he will change because every time he thinks he may lose you, he takes a small step to get you back. It’s hard to leave such relationships, but you should realize it and make a plan, for your own sake. Look up the cycle of abuse and see if you can relate."

—u/Uniqniqu

Advice #2: "Care about yourself the way you care about him and the way you want him to care about you. It’s a lot easier to leave when you love yourself enough to value your time and efforts."

—u/littlestray

5. "People. They're usually just every bit as bad as you thought they were. I hate being proved right sometimes."

Shurkin_son / Getty Images/iStockphoto

—u/Southern_Type_6194

Response #1: "Humanity consistently disappoints. There’ll be a little ray of sunshine, then boom, more shit."

—u/dominiqlane

Response #2: "There’s so much good, though. Just so much shit, too. The pandemic is when it really started to get to me how awful people are on a pretty wide scale. Thanks, social media."

—u/ScrunchieEnthusiast

6. "My relationship with my mother."

Maskot / Getty Images/Maskot

—u/neverorganised

Response #1: "Ditto. I had tried for so many years but finally gave up four years ago. It broke my heart, but at that stage, it was either me or her."

—u/Ughyeahnah

Advice #1: "I feel you on that. I did the same for way too long. Therapy helped me realize that she'd never change, so I'd never get the good, positive relationship with her that I wanted. My therapist also taught me that you can't change anyone else or their actions; all you can do is change how you react to them. I finally learned my lesson, so I gave up on trying and started protecting myself. I've been much happier since I did that. I highly recommend therapy if you're able to access it. It's helped me a lot."

—u/BadassScientist

Advice #2: "My therapist emphasized ‘and’ rather than ‘but,’ because humans are complex creatures. I love my mother AND she can be so, so hard to love."

—u/A-D-T-P

7. "My introversion. I have friends who can keep going and going, but I have a sudden stop, and after that stop, I’m down for the count no matter how much I want to keep going. I wish I could change that."

Eugenio Marongiu / Getty Images/Image Source

—u/heythereguys25

Advice: "I'd say embrace it. I love my recharge times. It benefits everyone. I get to absorb myself in something I really like, such as reading, crafts, music, etc., and then give others my time when I'm filled up. It's a win-win."

—u/IceyToes2

8. "IVF."

Maskot / Getty Images/Maskot

—u/Summerjynx

Response #1: "Girl, same. Most expensive heartbreak out there."

—u/katiejim

9. "My brother. I've been trying to be close to him for years. He shows zero interest. When we are together, we have so much fun, but once I'm out of sight, he forgets all about me. Also, when we are together, he never asks me about myself. It sucks, but I will keep trying."

The Good Brigade / Getty Images

—u/jdubpoggi

Response #1: "I am like that. I really do care, and if my friends called me and told me they needed me now, I would drop everything.

"But to be able to be like that, I don't have the capacity to then be there a little bit all the time. I am there or I am not. It's not necessarily something I am happy about, but when I tried to change it, everybody started feeling let down, and I started to get resentful. It doesn't work for me, sadly."

—u/Snailbooksandmusic

Response #2: "My brother’s the exact same way. I always go through a stretch where I completely give up, and then, after a while, I decide to be the bigger person and maintain the relationship even if it’s one-sided. Inevitably, I get my feelings hurt again and end up icing him out again. Which, of course, he never notices because he doesn’t talk to me in the first place."

—u/NTSTwitch

Advice: "In my experience, some people are like that. Once you're out of their face, you stop existing, but when you're together, you get 100% of their attention. I accepted that's just how they are because they are the same way with everybody.

"That said, if that's how he acts only with you, then maybe it's time to set boundaries for yourself. Family or not, you don't owe him a close relationship, considering that you're getting hurt all the time."

—u/whatevernamedontcare

10. "My own mind. Sometimes I just can’t shut it off, to the point of overthinking, which often results in disappointment even if everything is fine."

Oscar Wong / Getty Images

—u/g_sparkglobal

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Is there something you are consistently disappointed about but keep trying to work on? Or do you have any advice for the above individuals? If so, tell us in the comments below.