Sometimes, there are lessons in life that take a few times to understand and learn from. So, when I saw that Reddit user u/raquell-_-asked the r/AskWomen subreddit: "What lesson took you the longest to unlearn?" I thought it would be helpful to share their responses to see if anyone might relate. Here's what they had to say:
1."Just because someone is nice doesn't mean they have the best intentions for you."
2."Staying in a relationship with someone just because you’re used to them, but ultimately, know they’re not your forever person. Well, all those years dragging it on consist of time neither of you will get back. So, it’s best not to waste their irreplaceable time or yours."
3."Normalizing advocating for yourself. You don't need to exhaust yourself to seek help. It's okay to ask for help in the middle of things, and there shouldn't be shame. I also felt I had to stay strong no matter what and honestly could care less about emotional/psychological support. I feel like asking for favors/help meant that I was burdening people. I've only learned to accept my struggles and be more communicative about my challenges recently. I'm still working on it."
6."Time means nothing when it comes to friendships. People change, and sometimes, they’re only meant to be there at a certain point in your life."
7."That it was rude to tell people when they'd hurt my feelings, instead of just letting it go. I was always taught that it was easier to just be the bigger person and not make things worse. It's ruined how I communicate, and I'm still trying so hard to be comfortable with letting people know when they upset me and how I'm actually feeling about a situation."
10."Working extra hours without compensation. F U C K this toxic mentality. Your boss won’t like you more; they’ll treat you like a doormat, and they’ll add more to your plate."
11."Not working on something or toward something means you're lazy. Nope, I can be happy with where my life is at and just take things day by day."
12."That I don’t have to let the intrusive thoughts in my mind control me. I don’t have to live in fear, sadness, anxiety, and other negative thoughts/emotions. It makes life harder than it needs to be, and I’m allowed to live and exist freely. I’m still learning it, but I’m absorbing more of that lesson every day."
13."I don't have to be a size zero to be or feel beautiful. All my life I got the messages that if I lose weight, I'll finally be beautiful. I'm beautiful now, and I was when I was a kiddo!"
14."'Make a schedule and follow it.' Sure, it works for some people, and it can be very nice. I struggle with anxiety and depression, so making a schedule just stresses me out. The depressive part doesn’t want to do stuff, and then the anxious part keeps nagging me, so it’s not very healthy. With medicine and therapy, I have gotten to a place where I just sometimes want to feel productive and I can motivate myself to do stuff. Don’t feel bad when things don’t work out for you, just find something different that does!"
18."That it’s okay to not want a husband and kids in the future. I just never pictured myself living that life, and I always thought something was wrong with me or I’d just 'grow' into it, especially since my mom always pushed that on me. Now, I realize that my happiness comes first, and if that doesn’t involve a husband and kids, then so be it."
19."The potential you see in others is your own wish or what you would do if you were them. Also, don't fall in love with potential."
20."To not automatically smile every time I talk to men who don't smile back, just to make the situation nicer."
21."Putting myself on the back burner and accepting the bare minimum from my relationships while I pour my whole soul into them. I’m still learning this, and I don’t really think I know what I would do if someone gave me the same level of care as I give to others."
