Comedian Patton Oswalt Awesomely Shut Down A Company Trying To Get Him To Tweet Ads

And that’s how it’s done. (Note: NSFW language.)

1. This is comedian and actor Patton Oswalt.

2. On Friday, he stirred up some drama when marketing company Brander tried to get him to take part in their sponsored tweets.

Brander Influencers

@BA_Influencers

@pattonoswalt I’d love to invite you to get paid to tweet for awesome brands targeted at comedians and comedy fans! DM us!

/ Via

4. Patton was…less than enthused.

Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt

.@BA_Influencers Can we cut out the middleman and you guys just take a big, wet shit right on my soul? Might save time.

/ Via

6. Then the comedian seemed like he might feel apologetic.

Hey, @BA_Influencers. Might have been a bit harsh on you guys. Let me send you some examples of my "awesome brand tweeting." Ready?

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt)

Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt

Hey, @BA_Influencers. Might have been a bit harsh on you guys. Let me send you some examples of my “awesome brand tweeting.” Ready?

/ Via

8. Except in reality, he was exactly the opposite.

.@BA_Influencers The great taste of @SunChips won't make you forget that "handsy" counselor at sailing camp, but they're still good.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt)

Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt

.@BA_Influencers The great taste of @SunChips won’t make you forget that “handsy” counselor at sailing camp, but they’re still good.

/ Via

10. Patton sarcastically proved he would probably be the worst brand ambassador you could ask for.

.@BA_Influencers Tired of the tooth enamel loss from bulimia? The roaring bout of diarrhea from @TacoBell keeps your smile fresh!

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt)

Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt

.@BA_Influencers Tired of the tooth enamel loss from bulimia? The roaring bout of diarrhea from @TacoBell keeps your smile fresh!

/ Via

12. Wow.

.@BA_Influencers Packed with peanuts, @SNICKERS gets 'em in the van and KEEPS 'em in the van.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt)

Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt

.@BA_Influencers Packed with peanuts, @SNICKERS gets ‘em in the van and KEEPS ‘em in the van.

/ Via

14. Still want him to represent you?

Last one, guys: Integrity is like a pink, unsullied vagina. Let @BA_Influencers cram the Cock of Compromise balls-deep. #fuck #off

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt)

Patton Oswalt

@pattonoswalt

Last one, guys: Integrity is like a pink, unsullied vagina. Let @BA_Influencers cram the Cock of Compromise balls-deep. #fuck #off

/ Via

16. Actually, maybe he wouldn’t be that bad.

@pattonoswalt @BA_Influencers This is backfiring. Now I want @SunChips.

— OFFICIAL WAR ON XMAS (@bigplastichead)

OFFICIAL WAR ON XMAS

@bigplastichead

@pattonoswalt @BA_Influencers This is backfiring. Now I want @SunChips.

/ Via

H/T Uproxx

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